Apr8

I Choose Happy

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I Choose Happy

Today is a big day. It’s the total solar eclipse. And our area of the country is the hotbed of activity for it. Whatever your thoughts and feelings are about space, science, whether this is the end of days…just stop the chatter and get your special glasses and go witness one of God’s beautiful phenomenons. Stop and take a moment to appreciate something bigger than you. And this is where I lead into my next post. It involves choosing. Because one of our gifts from above is the power of Choice.

Again, I woke up this morning just letting my brain ramble on with different ideas, and this one idea kept repeating itself: I Choose Happy. I couldn’t stop thinking about it, so I knew it was going to become a post. For those of you who know me personally, you know my biggest thing I am apparently known for is the absolute loudest, probably most obnoxious laugh for someone who is 5′ 2″ tall. But I can’t change it, and it was one of the things my late father loved the most about me. So in 40 something years, I have learned to embrace it wholeheartedly.

It brings me to the idea rambling in my brain this morning of choosing happy. I am not even sure the birds were chirping. I kept rolling it over and over in my mind. It made me truly contemplate about the choice I make each day to choose Happy. In the world we live in, it’s so easy to go negative. To see the bad in things. To turn on the T.V. and hear how awful the world is, and the people who inhabit it. It’s a choice. It’s a mindset. And it’s power.

The human brain is a huge, mushy mess of muscle and nerves that needs to be “trained” on a daily basis. It needs stimulation, guidance, and it needs us as much as we need it to survive and be functional. So why not train for something more positive? Why not try and see the best in the world, and not focus so much on why things are terrible. I can easily wake up each morning and think, “yuck, it looks cold. The clouds are coming in so I bet it rains.” But what if I “choose” to see the clouds as a sign for rain that we probably need, or a calm serenity in nature that means today will be chill. I might even get to read a book because it’s raining outside. I choose the Happy.

I also understand there are two sides to this notion of happiness. And our circumstances can easily suck it out of us in an instant. Sometimes it’s hard to be happy. Emotions, hormones, life in general, can all take away our happiness too quickly. So we have to fight for that feeling of goodness and find a way to smile. It’s literally the one thing which can change a mood, stop a fight, plow over feelings of despair. The choices we make in life can also make or break our happiness. Shouldn’t we try and train our brains to make decisions which can change the course of our lives? Think about it this way, we have a TON of muscles in our face. As we age, those muscles definitely make their presence more known. My mom always said she would rather have wrinkles from laughing than frowning. And I can’t agree more with that amazing statement. So I do, I choose laughter, I choose the Happy so one day my kids will see my wrinkles from laughing instead of frowning.

Laughter can change a mood in the room. It can change the way a crowd feels in a split second. We have all been in situations where sadness is everywhere and it feels heavy, like a soaked horse blanket. Then suddenly someone remembers something happy and good that takes away the negative emotions of the moment and brings in a small ray of light and laughter. It’s like a breath of fresh spring air filling your lungs with hope and promise. It’s the Happy we all so desperately need.

I love quotes and I always like to write my favorites down in my journals and on my laptop. So here is one of the quotes I have recently stumbled upon that may be my new mantra in life:

” A day without laughter is a day wasted.” –Charlie Chaplin

Choose the Happy. Go enjoy the eclipse with the rest of the world. And remember to find something today to make you smile.

Until next time,

Cheers

Mar11

Pieces of the Puzzle

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Pieces of the Puzzle

I have always loved to work puzzles. They are something you can enjoy alone or with others, and it’s also a great way to share conversations. Puzzles are one of those things that can be joyful and overly frustrating all in the same moment. A few weeks ago, I woke up thinking about relationships and suddenly I made a juxtaposition between puzzle pieces and various interconnections we have in life. To me, puzzles and relationships mimic each other in a unique sense. It can fit any kind of kinship we have, from our parents and friends to significant others and family members. Both create a kind of imagery to life when interlocked into specific places and patterns.

Brand new and straight out of the box, puzzle pieces seem to fit perfectly together when correctly locked into place. As time moves forward, and the puzzle is put through the test of being locked together and unlocked, the edges of the pieces begin to show wear and tear. They begin to not fasten as tightly and perfectly into place. Puzzle pieces get bent and the edges start to peel away from its cardboard base. Age, environment, or the amount of chances the puzzle is completed all play a part in how each unique piece can withstand time.

I see relationships harboring much of the same characteristics as a puzzle piece. When new and freshly unwrapped, the people in the relationship seem to fit perfectly together. But outside forces, life tragedies, or even personal change, can all play a part in how those relationships continue to link together over time. The final image can get muddled and skewed because each corner of the relationship piece becomes frayed and warped.

So how do you find a way to make the puzzle work when it becomes worn? Do you try and glue down the edges so they appear to look like they can form a perfect picture? Do you open a fresh box, being more mindful of how the pieces are treated? Or in some cases, do you put the puzzle together once, enjoying the beautiful picture and then glue it all together so it never comes apart?

The more times we do a puzzle the less we pay attention to how the pieces interlock, causing irregularity and disfigurement. As in a relationship, you can’t force pieces to connect together if they are not perfectly cut to match. And the bigger the puzzle, the more pieces there are to decipher through and make that perfect fit. In this essence it’s easy to see how we struggle with our own puzzle pieces in life. We may find some fit easily and perfectly together, forming the intended picture displayed on the box. Other puzzles are frustrating and complicated and cause us to force pieces together which appear to match, but realistically are off by a hairline cut. Those are the puzzles we often work the hardest on and sometimes the picture-perfect image is made and in other instances the challenge is too much and we end up throwing the pieces back in the box and shelving it permanently.

So the next time you find yourself in a “puzzling” situation, think about the pieces that create the image. There can be hundreds or thousands of pieces needed to make whatever picture you are trying to create. Perhaps if we viewed all relationships like we view a puzzle, the world would interlock more easily and a beautiful image would be the picture-perfect outcome.

Until next time,

Cheers.

Mar20

You Try, I Try, We all Try

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You Try, I Try, We all Try

Have you ever thought about the word “try?” It’s a simple word, no vowels needed, but the power it holds is immense. I woke up early this morning thinking about this word and how it molds and shapes my life. It’s impactful because it’s used every single day by pretty much most of us walking this earth.

When we use the word “try” in a sentence, it tells our audience we are forcing an action of sorts. We can try and do better with our jobs. We can try and do better with our relationships. We can try and do better with who we are and how we live. But the one common thread that runs through any of these scenarios is the type of action taken which causes us to change who and what we are in life. But what if we thought of a different word, one that only has two letters. One that actually uses a consonant and vowel to show action. What if we focused on the word “Be?”

One of my favorite verses in the Bible from the book of Psalms is “Be Still and know I am God.” In this one simple phrase God is not telling us to “Try” and know Him. He is telling us to stop in whatever we are doing, in whomever we are as a person, in whatever facet of life we find ourselves and simply “be.” It’s so impactful when you put the two words together because it shows just how much merit we hold in one word versus the other. And yet, if we just worked on the shortest one, life might behold a more feasible solution.

The word “try” tells us to be better, to do better, because at that moment we hold failure. I never truly understood the negativity that can come from something so simple until I found myself constantly using it on my own person. I failed at this, so I must “try” and change. I am constantly doing this wrong, so I must “try” and find a different solution. I need to “try” and reach higher to better myself. We see this interpersonal conversation with so many things in life. Think about athletes on any level, amateur or professional, and see how often the word “try” is intwined in their daily routine. “Try” harder to make the play, to beat your time, to win the game. We create such a negative connotation for something that could be intended for the positive. Maybe that is why I feel the word “be” should be used more in life.

I know it won’t fit every scenario for those of you out there living in a “this or that,” “right or wrong,” “black or white” kind of world, and you most likely disagree with what I am saying. But for those of us that live in shades of grey, who realize not everything is so concrete, the way we use these two words can change EVERYTHING. It can change how we view ourselves, how we love ourselves and the imperfect way God created us by simply “being” instead of always “trying.”

So as you move through your day today, and every day forward, I just want you to simply think about these two words and how you allow them to shape your life. Because sometimes if you don’t stop and “be” you will continue to always search for the “try.”

Until next time,

Cheers

Sep11

The Falling Man-a 9/11 Documentary

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How can you not remember that day? September 11, 2001. I think time stood still for several hours; at least it did for me. Let me back up a bit before I get into this particular piece. So my eldest child has been sick this week with some crazy virus. Therefore my hours have been off and I found myself searching the other night for something to watch on television.   Flip on Hulu and search “documentaries,” there you go–9/11 and the “Falling Man” piece popped up. I immediately became obsessed. This date resonates with me, as it probably does with most of my generation. It was a day that will and can never be forgotten by our country. Whatever your stance may be for the actions taken after this day, you can’t ignore the utter despair and loss that was felt on September 11, 2001.

The documentary I watched the other evening was addressed the “Falling Man.” Now, if you were alive and older than say, seventeen, then you may or may not remember the “Falling Man” picture that escaped some news markets during the time of 9/11. I remember that picture vividly. I was 22 years old, living in an amazing city with the world at my feet. Life was supposed to be footloose and carefree at this point. I was to find myself after a strenuous academic career and really just learn what made me tick. Life was good and I was working, having fun until…reality. Some terrorist, for reasons unfathomable to me, decided to wreak havoc on my country. In turn, this meant it wreaked havoc on me, my generation, those before me and after me.

I sit in my kitchen typing tonight and I still feel the same despair, anguish and anger of that day. I had come out of an early morning meeting only to discover the world had changed in a matter of moments. I worked in public relations at the time, simply a post-graduate position, learning the ropes of the industry in a big city so I could eventually move up in this particular world I loved. I had high hopes, dreams and expectations, as does any college graduate who has worked their ass off to get where they are in life. I accomplished this feat, so when 9/11 occurred I almost felt the rug pulled from beneath me. I remember following other co-workers into my boss’ office to view the television. It was 8:25 A.M. central time and the first tower had been hit, followed by the second. We all watched in horror, listening to the news commentary going on at the moment. How could this possibly be happening? Then it did; the first tower fell and I remember looking over at my boss and telling him, “this is my generation’s D-day. This will be our Vietnam.” And it was this mayhem, and it still is this reality in today’s society. My grandfather fought in WWII, my father fought in Vietnam and Desert Storm…so I know a bit about military history. The good fight we wanted to have in this situation was, and may never be, fully achieved.

Being a solid American patriot, I love history and when I saw the documentary on the “Falling Man” I knew it was a piece of my history I wanted explored and explained. Do you remember this picture? We all heard accounts on newscasts about bodies falling from the World Trade Center, hitting vehicles and such below. None of this was shown on camera, but some clips you could hear it happen. And here was a photographer who happened to capture a moment of someone’s life and decided to tell it. “The Morning Call” out of Allentown, PA was the publication to show it (one of my college roommates was from Allentown) on their publication dated September 12, 2001.

According to the documentary, people in the community were appalled to see such an image. Yet, I remember the first time I saw it in a publication (I think it might have been Time Magazine). The image brought tears to my eyes, and it still makes me have that “ugly cry face” we all hate to show others.

It was not disgraceful to me, or dishonoring a life. It was reality; a moment in time I can never fully comprehend. Bodies falling and hanging out of a burning building…who am I to judge their actions? These are individuals who were mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, grandparents and the list goes on and on. So, who am I to judge their actions, their decisions at that particular moment when I was tucked safely away in an office in downtown Dallas, Texas watching this entire event happening from a television?

Questions came up in the aftermath of their faith, their Christianity, and asking the world why they would make such decisions. I am a Christian and I believe God is in everything I do, but I also believe He was with those individuals that day as they were hanging out of smoke-filled windows, gasping for air while praying for an answer. Do I think these people committed suicide? I am not arrogant enough to make that judgment call, and I leave that one up to my God. Perhaps this is why I am always sobbing whenever I see or think about images of falling people from the Towers. Because I know these people had just gone to work on a “normal” day, telling their loved ones good-bye, see you later…only to find themselves hanging hundreds of stories above the ground with burning fuel and smoke around them. No, I don’t judge these individuals and I whole-heartedly believe the God I love and cherish so much does not hold it against them either. That kind of judgment is a “worldly” assumption, not a Heavenly one.

In this documentary I learned about the quest to find the identity of this one falling man, a man who represented so many others, and the setbacks that went along with this journey. Obviously it was not an easy one to make, and took several years and a few mistakes until it reached completion. But eventually it was made and the man was Jonathan Briley. He was a worker at the Windows of the World, and the last moments of his life were made into Pulitzer Prize material. And yet, it still brings tears to my eyes because this man was so loved by his family and so strong in his Faith, yet he still made the jump. His decision and his time, all with the Creator he held so dear to his heart, came together in just under 10 seconds. A moment, have you ever thought about your own life in such a short timeframe?

The controversy that surrounded this one photograph involved disgust, like anyone viewing it became an individual dishonoring the person, based on some voyeuristic appearance. But in reality, when you really think deep and hard, is that what you see? Is that what you feel? It is NOT something I feel when I see these images. I see a PERSON, in their last MOMENTS, coming to peace with what God had put before them. At that moment there was no blame or finger pointing, it was just about this one person in his or her last moments. It was ugly, sad, beautiful, peaceful and mournful all at once. How many situations in life can we witness such a deluge of emotions and representations all in a matter of seconds?

This one image of a falling man, AKA Jonathan Briley, represented so many that day in terms of lives lost. The men, women and even children that perished without a choice; it was this representation of life lost, families destroyed and chaos released amongst the masses that captured the heart of America. But there was such a story to be told with those who fell from the windows of the World Trade Center.

I go back to the image I began this piece with, a man simply falling. He is not struggling, yet instead, he is shown in a poise that exudes grace and simplicity. One knee bent, the other leg casually straight. It was as if he was taking a dive off some high dive at some no-name high school swimming pool.   Behind him you could see the image of the concrete windows of the Tower. So you knew, going in and looking, that this was no ordinary jump. And it made you question, did it not, your own existence and how much control you have over it? We are given choices in everyday life, but what we do with those choices is what makes all the difference in the world.

Do I shun the people who jumped from the Towers that awful day in recent American history?   Absolutely not, and I can say that in the strongest of faith. I think the moments we saw makes us really step back and look at how we address tragedy, reality and where we exist in between all of it. It deals with the toughest choices in life. The jumpers were not heretics or anti-Christian. They were simple people given a choice. I whole-heartedly believe they made their peace with God and that last fall was with Him. He was there, holding their hand, walking them to Paradise because the choices to get there were awful. Burn alive or jump…what would you do? What would we all do?

This piece is not to drag you down, make you feel guilty or insignificant. It is a piece to make you think long and hard before you judge. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and see what you would do in a situation. One thing I have learned in my life is to not judge, to not jump to conclusions, but to really evaluate the situation on all levels. Does this make me stupid or incoherent? I don’t think so, simply because life has made me really do this action. Step back and put yourself in the shoes of the person you attempt to judge. Maybe that is why I get so choked up when it comes to 9/11 and the Jumpers. I feel they got a bad wrap as weaklings and agnostics. But in reality, when we are faced with such dire situations, what would you do? None of us really know until we have flames and smoke licking at our own ankles.

Take the story of the Falling Man as a lesson to not judge, or pre-judge someone or some situation until you have fully lived it. Until you have fully breathed its last agonizing breathe. Do not judge, and remember to believe in something bigger than you…something that can make the lasting impression on those around you in society. My belief is that God is with me every step of the way. Whatever tickles your fancy on the spiritual realm, one thing must hold true and that is we are all humans surviving in this world. Please let love and honor hold you higher than anything else you may feel.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Feb9

Food for Thought

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When you leave this world, what do you want to be missed for…your laugh that is always too loud? Your ability to make anyone in a room feel welcomed? To give encouragement to someone who just needs a little “lifting” this side of Heaven?

These are things I want to be remembered for because it encompasses my family, my children (most definitely), my friends, and those occasional people I meet whom I try and peel pennies off the floor for them after they checked out.

Love and Be Loved.

Aug27

Do You Supplement?

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Do You Supplement?

One of the things I get asked often from people are what supplements do I take. As an Integrative Nutrition health coach, we were taught to not solely rely on supplementation for overall health. In fact, it was encouraged to not automatically give supplement suggestions to clients unless they are asking for specific remedies and their doctor is okay with them taking it.

But supplements can be a great thing to add to your health regiment, especially if you are someone that struggles with eating a balanced diet full of fruits, veggies, and lean proteins from sustainably raised sources. And I take supplements because I stay on top of my bloodwork and there are things that my body needs in addition to a healthy lifestyle.

So in this article I wanted to just go over some of the all-natural, more homeopathic supplements I do like to tell clients about when they ask me recommendations. Some of these are prescribed by my general practitioner, and others I take based on the recommendation of my Naturopath or from my own research and education.

Vitamin D3

The first supplement I take is Vitamin D3. My physician recommended I start taking this several years ago after my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Most of us walk around with Vitamin D3 deficiency because we are working inside for longer hours instead of out in the sunshine. Because our bodies don’t make vitamins, we are reliant on outside sources to keep our stores up. And Vitamin D is used up fairly quickly in the body, so it’s hard to keep “reserves.”

Exposure to sunshine (without sunscreen) for 5 to 10 minutes a few times a week can give you what you need for Vitamin D, but this can be hard to do in the winter months when our bodies are covered in coats and warm clothing. So if you take a supplement for Vitamin D, I recommend finding one that is made with olive oil as its carrier oil instead of soybean. In my personal opinion, olive oil is a better alternative than soy products because of the research done on poor sources of soybean oils used in our foods and over-the-counter products.

Food sources for Vitamin D are as follows:

-Cod liver oil, swordfish, herring, tuna (canned too), sardines, eggs, fortified milk (if you consume dairy)

Calcium

My next go-to supplement that I take based on a medical recommendation is Calcium (which also has Vitamin D with it for absorption purposes). Calcium is very important for women, especially those of us in the “40 and Over” club. Calcium is needed to prevent osteoporosis and maintain good bone and teeth health. It also helps with enzyme functions in the body, which are needed to keep our cells running properly and our digestion up to speed. Studies have also shown it to be healthy for the heart muscle.

Sources for Calcium outside of supplements are as follows:

-Dairy products or fortified non-dairy products, broccoli, seaweeds, nuts, seeds, spinach, tofu, and beans

Magnesium

Another mineral many of us walk around deficient in is Magnesium. Our foods today are low in magnesium, so it can be hard to get in the necessary amounts with just diet alone. I take my supplement in a powder form in the evening (it can help you sleep). Magnesium is needed everyday and helps with enzyme function in the body. It is good for bone health, can lower your risk for diabetes through regulation of carbohydrate and glucose metabolism, has been suggested to aid in migraine relief, and can even alleviate anxiety. Another bonus for women is magnesium can help with premenstrual symptoms.

Good food sources for Magnesium include:

-nuts, seeds, spinach, broccoli, shrimp, beans, bananas, peanut butter, milk, brown rice, oatmeal

Probiotics

This is probably something you have heard about, but I am going to reiterate what all the other health gurus are saying about probiotics. These gems are great for the gut!!! Our gut is one of the most important organs in our bodies because it regulates immune function, neurotransmitters, and a slew of other important functionalities. Our gut can make or break our overall health, so you have to keep it rich and full of the good flora! Probiotics are also good with helping regulate bowel diseases, inflammation, and maintaining vaginal health in women.

There are a plenitude of probiotic supplements out there, and I recommend you start small on the dosage so your body can get used to it (you don’t need it to be a laxative!). Around 25 to 30 billion CFU’s is a great place to begin. It has a lot of good bacteria strains in them and if you feel you want to increase further down the road, then just talk with your health practitioner on what is the best fit for you.

Chlorella

This supplement I discovered during my coursework with IIN. It was recommended by Paul Pitchford, a master of ancient Chinese medicine and whole foods nutrition. He has authored several books on healing the body through whole foods and all-natural supplements.

Chlorella is a nutrient-dense freshwater algae that is taken in either a powder, capsule, or tablet form. It’s a great superfood for the body because it supports immune function, contains essential minerals and vitamins (B12, magnesium, beta-carotene are just a few), has protein (small amount), and works to eliminate toxins from the body. If there is one supplement that I make sure I take daily, it’s chlorella.

Sun-Chlorella is a great brand available at most health food stores, or Prime Chlorella brand is high quality and can be ordered online.

If you are interested in adding supplements to your daily routine, I first recommend you speak with your health practitioner to make sure nothing interferes with any other medication you might be on. It’s also wise to get a blood panel done to see what vitamins and minerals you are deficient in before adding a new regiment to your diet.

When it comes to purchasing supplements, I would be very cautious buying online unless you know the brand you are purchasing is valid and safe. The health and wellness industry is one of the largest money makers out there today, and a lot of companies are exploiting consumers through supplements. Do your research and ask questions to avoid products made with fillers and other harmful ingredients. Your local health food store is also a great resource for supplements, and you can ask questions and get customer feedback about products.

For me, I like to use products from these companies:

Now Foods – http://www.nowfoods.com

Garden of Life – http://www.gardenoflife.com

Prime Chlorella – http://www.primechlorella.com

Pure Encapsulations – http://www.pureformulas.com; http://www.amazon.com

Leading a healthy life is so important nowadays and sometimes that means adding supplements to our daily routine. It’s all about learning your body, what it needs, and finding high-quality sources to fuel it.

Until next time,

Cheers!

Jul15

Fearless to Forty

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Tomorrow I hit a new decade, a “milestone birthday” as some like to call it.  I turn 40.  Yep, it’s my turn now as I have watched others over the years hit this number and survive the change.  So why is turning the Big 4-0 such a huge deal for our society?  Maybe because when you are entering your twenties or thirties, there seem to be prescribed “rules” as to what needs to happen for your life.  You might get a job, finish college, start a career, get married, have kids, etcetera, etcetera.  But no one really has a prescribed roadmap for your forties.  You are supposed to have already achieved all these other things in your life, right?

I look back on the last decade of my life and contemplate what I feel I have “achieved” as an individual.  And I have to give myself some space for self-reflection.  My thirties have been a ride, let me tell you.  I had babies, lost a parent, discovered friendships, and experienced quite a bit of personal heartache.  But I also learned a load about myself and the person I want to be as I enter into a new phase of life.  When I hit 39, I wanted to wrap up this decade by stretching myself emotionally, spiritually, and physically.  I called it my #fearlesstoforty journey.  Because I chose to look things I have always “feared” straight in the face, I gave myself the gift of personal growth and new relationships.  I became a part of movements and organizations that have opened my eyes and changed my viewpoints about how I see things in this world.  I grew deeper in my faith with Jesus and let go of what I thought it meant to be “religious.”   

In the last ten years I have learned to let things slide off my back more and to not try so hard to fit into some ridiculous mold prescribed by society.  I take social media with a grain of salt because I know it’s not the end-all, be-all in how I live on a daily basis.  I have learned how to listen to my body; to know when to back off and when to push harder.  I see things through such a different lens than I did when I was 29, I couldn’t ever go back in time and be the same person.  The challenges I faced in my thirties have given me a jump-start to the personal growth many people think they will have when they hit their forties.  It’s like I am painting my own canvas with as many colors and brush strokes imaginable in my mind.    

When we look at our own lives, it’s wise to not try and compare it with others around us because no one life is the same.  We all have our own battles to forage through, and we all respond differently to the environment around us.  But what we can do is look at ourselves as pieces of artwork in the making.  We are journeys of expressions and experiences, hidden diamonds underneath the rubble of life.  And one thing I want to remember as I go forward is to respect and love myself, to not let inner demons try and determine the level of my worth in this world.  Because I know what drives me, what irritates me, what makes me happy, and where I am the most vulnerable.  That, my friends, is what turning 40 means to me.

Cheers!

Mar15

Social Media: The Tail that Wags the Dog?

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Which is First, the Chicken or the Egg?

It’s funny how we spend a majority of our lives trying to “belong” and “fit in” with the right crowd. This happens during childhood, but it also continues when we become adults. In the world of social media, this need to “belong” is even stronger, both for adults and kids (at least those with access). I used to think I was one of those people that liked social media because it allowed me to connect with friends and family, post funny pictures of my kids, and share healthy living tips on my business page. But the last 24 hours had me thinking differently about social media, and how I belong more to it than it does to me.

Let me explain what I mean here a bit. As some of you may know, Instagram and Facebook, maybe even Twitter, had pretty rough days this week. Accounts were down, including mine, and rumors where flying about what was happening at headquarters. Who was winning and who was loosing the battle for control. All the while, faithful patrons were waiting with angst to get back on to personal and business accounts and “re-connect” with the world. On Wednesday, both my personal and business Instagram accounts went really wonky. I couldn’t post and nothing was refreshing. Finally after a day of trying to figure out if it was Wi-Fi related or just bad service, I needed to log out. When I did that, suddenly I couldn’t log back in. Message after message read “ERROR.” Suddenly I panicked. I panicked because I thought of all the hard work I had put into my business account to get it up-to-par and gain followers. I panicked because the information I had was now gone. I panicked because pictures I had shared were now unavailable to me, and I didn’t know who had control of them. What would happened if I could never get back in? It’s not like any of the social media sites actually offer contact support for their programs. You are at the mercy of whomever sits behind their keyboards.

Finally by 10:30 that evening the veil was lifted and I was allowed back into BOTH my personal and my private accounts. Praise Jesus!!! And I did just that-I had prayed hard that day not to just get my stuff back, but for calmness. To not get anxious and stressed out, as is my norm in situations that I can’t control. So I had really kept my cool. But I was also glad all my work to try and build this personal business of mine had not been lost.

But the Story Continues…

Fast forward to the next day and I am posting on my business account what I wanted to post the previous day on Instagram (both my Facebook and Instagram are linked). Picture placed, post written, and…click. It was up and loaded. Then suddenly when I went to respond to a comment on my Facebook business page, I was kicked out. I mean I was completely logged out and a message came up saying a picture needed to be reviewed by the security team and until then I was denied access to Facebook in any way. I was completely shunned from the “social crowd.” All of my accounts on all my devices were locked up. Suddenly I felt isolated. I felt really stressed and upset because I couldn’t understand how a picture of my previous day’s veggie burger and Kale Tonic was considered to be profane. I mean, if you are a junk food junkie, maybe, but seriously?

For over 24 hours I was not allowed access to either my personal Facebook account or my business account. I couldn’t communicate with clients, friends, family members, etc. I was an outcast, an outsider to the social media world. I had my Instagram account, but a lot of stuff is connected to Facebook. We take it for granted that we are always going to have it, so we link various accounts with our social media page instead of giving a simple e-mail address. When that account is locked up, nothing works!

During my “lockdown time,” my mind kept swirling with thoughts of “maybe I got hacked,” or “what if Facebook eliminates my page completely?” It was a truly helpless feeling in the sense that I had lost total control over my personal and my business information. All because of some picture they had to review. And I had followed all the rules. I had even changed my e-mail and password two days earlier because I wanted to make sure to keep my accounts safe. I have all the security measures placed on my social media accounts to prevent fraudulent activity. But wow, couldn’t see any of it, and I couldn’t get in touch with anyone who works there because Facebook, like Instagram, doesn’t have a contact section on their web site.

I did find a link to help guide me to the right submission page so at least I could submit a form to get in touch with someone, anyone. I sent that form in twice within a 5 hour period hoping to get someone’s attention. Whatever needed to happen or whatever the security team needed to asses, by this afternoon my accounts were finally up and running again. And there was another Praise Jesus moment! That I had actually kept pretty calm, although this afternoon was hard. I tried vigilantly not to think of all the pictures of my father I had posted after his death, or the volunteer organizations I like to support on social media through sharing and tagging. I tried not to think of clients I couldn’t respond to on my business page. I just kept thinking, Lord, keep me calm. You’ve got this all. Even when people tried to “find” me on social media, it was like I totally disappeared. I had completely vanished, and not from my own choosing! I had my friend tell me, “it’s going to be okay, Sam. The sun is out, you have a roof over your head, and your family is safe.” Total. Perspective. She was absolutely right, too.

So now that I type this up and really think about the last 24 hours, it amazes me how co-dependent we have become as a society on social media. I am not saying everyone is like this, because social media is definitely a generational thing. But when you are on the other side of the table and your account is suddenly deemed “unworthy,” you feel like the awkward kid standing in the corner at the school dance wondering why no one else wants to talk to them. Are we really that dependent on these programs to make us feel worthy? How is it that much of our life is centered around social media applications?

It’s definitely something worth pondering over and assessing because until this moment, I didn’t realize just how much I looked to see those notifications pop up on my phone. Maybe I need to make sure that if I am using social media, I need to house it mentally in a certain place in my mind. So if one day the entire system crashes, it doesn’t feel like my life completely depends on it. I won’t feel “shunned” or left out of the cool club in school. It will still be me, and my business will still flourish, and friends and family will still know that I love them all dearly.

So I ask you, how does social media affect your life? Are you a total addict to it? Or do you like to use it for recreational purposes, like keeping in touch with old friends and such? And when life takes a turn and you are not in the driver’s seat, how do you react to it?

Until next time,

Cheers!

Feb11

Listen to Your Heart

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Okay, I’m not talking about the song by Roxette. I’m talking about, “if your heart could speak, what would it say?”

I think we forget how important our hearts our to our health, and not just in the physical capacity. It’s important in the mental capacity too. The human heart is the beginning for a lot of things in life-how we feel, what we think, the way we live, and even our ability to lead others. When our hearts are out of balance, our entire being becomes out of balance.

This weekend I attended a Christian women’s conference called the “If: Gathering.” This conference covered a lot of areas that affect women, from recognizing our self-worth, to understand our heart, and it was all based within an awe-inspiring spiritual platform that was extremely motivational. Our spirituality, however it presents itself in us, determines the way our heart functions. Spirituality is so important when it comes to listening to our hearts. So this weekend I listened to mine over and over again. I listened to what Jesus was trying to say to my own heart. That I am worth it, that He loves me, and that I need to play closer attention to my heart. I need to do this because everything flows from our hearts. I feel like I need to type this again…EVERYTHING FLOWS FROM OUR HEARTS.

When we guard our heart, we implement a protection mechanism against the world around us. But we also have to be very careful that we don’t shut things off completely and isolate our hearts. How we think about ourselves, or our ability at self-awareness, can change our entire biological make-up. It is the mind-body connection we hear often about from health guru’s like Deepak Chopra.

Have you ever thought about happiness? Did you know that just by being around someone who is a happy person, you increase your own happiness by 15%? And if that happy person you are around chooses to surround themselves with happy people, regardless if you come into contact with them or not, you can increase your personal happiness by another 10%? Crazy, right? But Deepak Chopra has the science to back this after years of studying well-being and the mind-body connection to this concept. So as I sat in this conference for two days, surrounded by people who were filled with the love of Jesus, of course I felt that energy inside me!

Americans tend to hold onto existential happiness, meaning we might feel happy right now in this monument, but we tend to focus on how miserable we could feel an hour from now, or how unhappy we were in our youth. And that doesn’t bode well for the heart because that type of happiness isn’t deep and it isn’t genuine. To change our ability for our hearts to remain healthy, we have to change our thinking. Again, it’s a mind-body connection that can make our break our health.

So what can you do to begin listening to your own heart? The first step is to be open to change. Be open to the idea that you have the power to transform how your brain functions. Nothing is set in stone, and you, my friend, are in the pilot’s seat. Find your spiritual ground and let that love and acceptance pour into your own heart. Never underestimate the power of Spirituality. I never underestimate Jesus, and when I stop and listen, it blows me away how He impacts my heart.

Break negative patterns that bring you down and place a blanket of heaviness over your heart. Negativity and anxiety will tear down a healthy body brick by brick if you allow it. Examine your relationships and find people to be around who are happy. I’m not talking about existential happy, I’m talking about that person that can sense the joy in just about anything. They CHOOSE happiness, and by surrounding yourself within their positive energy, you too can become happier. It’s okay to let relationships go that pull you down. Sometimes it’s the healthiest and safest thing we can do to guard our heart.

Our bodies are information and energy fields, so how we process information and where we place ourselves in life can and will determine our body’s ability to be healthy, balanced, and happy. Loving up on others creates happiness within us; giving attention and appreciation to another person will automatically induce happy hormones within your body. So go out today and just pay someone a compliment out of the blue. See how their facial muscles change in an instant. You will reap the benefits, I promise.

Our hearts are something we need to guard and protect because it determines the path our health can follow. But we also need to recognize when it’s okay to let it open and let people in. Let in love and happiness, find ways to fill your mind with things that will leave a lasting impression on your heart, not just a temporary sense of elation. Once you begin to listen to your heart, I believe you will be amazed by the way your body responds.

Until next time,

Cheers

Jan29

Reflections in Your Rearview

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Driving home from school drop-off this morning, I was listening to Andra Day (one of my favorite singers) and her song “Rearview” came up on my playlist. What I love about Andra’s songs are how I can pull something from each one. I love this song because I feel like the idea about looking into your “rearview” is so important as part of a healthy lifestyle.

I seem to always tell people I feel it is so important to know where you come from before you can move forward with your future. Of course, this usually comes after a glass or two of wine and some deep discussions. You gotta know when to go deep with people so they don’t flee from you in the opposite direction! You can’t just randomly bust out your personal “Jack Handy Deep Thoughts” after the first “hello” in a conversation. (Please tell me you remember SNL’s “Deep Thoughts” skits…if not, go find them online and watch some because they’re hysterical.)

Although, I am pretty sure Andra was discussing a personal relationship in the song, based on her lyrics, I couldn’t help find myself connecting it with self-reflection and understanding of one’s past. I started musing to myself of how I felt so far in my own life based on how my own rearview mirror looks. Have a left an impact on society? On a person’s life? Am I leaving the world a better place than when I entered it? Andra continued to sing on as I contemplated these questions, and many more, on my fifteen minute drive back home. Obviously my coffee was kicking in full swing by now, and my brain was pulsating out my own “deep thoughts.” But I couldn’t leave the notion alone, so here we are now writing away on my laptop.

As we are wrapping up the first month into the new year, how do you feel things are going? Do you think about your 2018 Rearview Mirror? I’m almost 40, so I guess entering a new decade has caused me to really pause and think about how my own life has gone so far. There have been some serious ups and downs, there have been huge challenges and triumphs. But for the most part, my Rearview doesn’t look too bad. Can it be better? Sure, there is always room for improvement and I know areas that desperately need it. But my point I want to make here is when you want to move forward in life and work towards higher goals and aspirations, why not take a peek into the mirror of your past. Learn from your mistakes, take notes on your successes and duplicate the process, and pause for a moment to think about how life has impacted your worldview thus far.

Take a piece of paper, a page from your journal, or the notes application on your phone and jot down these things that come to your mind. I guarantee it will impact your next step today and tomorrow for the better. Living life can be a constant roller coaster, so find out how to keep your belt buckled. And do this by self-reflecting and looking into your Rearview Mirror. It can heal you from whatever pain you have, lift you up for the happiness you felt at times, and make you a grateful person for who you can become tomorrow.

Until next time,

Cheers

For more information about my health coaching practice, visit http://www.lifestylelistener.com and sign up for my free cleanse guide.