I have to post this small little blurb today because I feel like all you iPhone users out there can relate to what I have to say about good ol’ Siri. Now, I don’t know if you feel as I do when it comes to hands-free driving, but I like the idea of letting my voice do the work while my eyes stay focused on the road and my hands do their job of driving the car. So when Apple developed Siri a few years ago, I thought it was going to be the next best thing to sliced bread. Unfortunately, my Siri experience has been terrible.
Can I just take a moment to poke fun at myself? How do you know your relationship with Siri is on the outs? It is probably pretty clear she is just not that into you when you hit the magical button to ask a question and she repeatedly tells you “I’m sorry Samantha, I don’t understand that.” Ever had that happen? Yeah, I thought so.
As I was driving this morning, dropping off my children at their various schools, I was needing to know when our local Barnes and Noble would open. “Ah,” I thought to myself, “I will ask Siri. She knows everything, right?” Push the button and speak into the virtual microphone. “Siri, can you tell me when the Barnes and Noble in Cape Girardeau will open today?” Siri replies, “Samantha, I don’t understand what Noble is.” Wait, what? Okay, deep breath, and let me turn down my music to eliminate all background noise. Try again. “Siri, can you please (because maybe if I am overly polite, she will give me my answer) tell me when BARNES AND NOBLE IN CAPE GIRARDEAU WILL OPEN TODAY?” Here she goes, it’s going to happen this time! “Samantha, here is the location for Cape Girardeau. Can I help with anything else?” Sure, I can tell you what direction I would like you to go…any guesses oh wise, fake language, computer voice?
Now, you have to get a visual here, because I am driving in traffic, yelling to wherever my microphone is in the car, trying to focus on the road. If you passed me this morning, now you understand why I looked like a giraffe driving a vehicle, craning my neck towards the ceiling in search of the mysterious Bluetooth microphone. Okay, let’s try this again. The car is quiet and I hit the magic button. “Siri, pretty please tell me when Barnes and Noble will open in Cape Girardeau.” Awkward silence as I watch the colorful neon light pulse on my phone’s screen. “Samantha, here are the searches I found for Hungarian paprika.” ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!!! It takes sheer strength to NOT throw my phone across the vehicle and suddenly I find myself pushing the button to tell Siri what a big loser she was, how she couldn’t understand me, and I thought she was a complete idiot! There, now see how you do, SIRI! Microphone drop, BOOM, I told her. Her response? “I’m sorry you feel that way, Samantha.” Whatever.
Needless to say, I had to wait until I reached a red light to search Safari for opening times of Barnes and Noble, which had absolutely zero to do with Hungarian paprika. Still trying to figure that one out, Siri. So, for those of you out there using iPhones and having amazing “Phomances” with Siri, good for you. For the rest of the Siri rejects out there, I feel your pain. And if you use another brand of phone, you may have no clue what this entire situation feels like, but then again, my iPhone has not exploded on me yet.
I was just a girl, driving a car, waiting for a simple answer. All I got was Hungarian paprika.
Until next time,