Category Archives: The Path Less Traveled

From the heart posts, stories from my life and other lyrical adventures I may find myself enjoying.

“Amateurs” Reign Supreme

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When you look up the word “amateur,” the dictionary gives you several definitions. Two of those read as:   “a person inexperienced or unskilled in a particular activity;” “a person who admires something; devotee; fan.” I consider myself an “amateur” of many things in this world. Wine just so happens to be one of them.

By calling myself an “amateur,” I am not putting on the table the notion that I know very little about wine. I am doing the opposite, in fact. Based on what I stated above, I may not be a professional in the world of wine, but I do know what I like and I still have much to learn.

I wanted to start this post off with a definition for two reasons. The first reason being that I love words. In an age of texting, e-mailing or “tweeting,” the beauty of the English language is often lost. Perhaps this is why I often find myself flipping through a dictionary, just scrolling the pages and reading definitions. I know that sounds crazy, but I have always done this since I was a kid, and I want to be sure my children have a decent vocabulary. The second reason comes from an article I read in the latest Wine Spectator magazine. The article is by Matt Kramer, a contributor to Wine Spectator for over 30 years, and hits home about why being an “amateur” matters so much when it comes to wine.

I have to digress for a brief moment. For anyone out there interested in learning about wine, or just interested in what wines to purchase, this magazine is great. My father (a true wine collector) loved Wine Spectator magazine; when I graduated from college and moved away, he paid for my first year’s subscription. Although I thought it was ludicrous at the time, today I am grateful for his judiciousness. This magazine is worth the yearly investment, and they also make for great coffee table reads.

Now back to the topic at hand, which is Kramer’s article. It really hit home when I read his piece because I often find myself in conversations with friends or family about wine. The things I hear most often from people are “I don’t know a thing about wine,” or they feel inadequate because they only like a certain kind of wine, thus making them unqualified in having an opinion. My response, much like what Kramer is saying in his article, is you don’t have to know all the ins and outs of wine to have an opinion. All you need to know is WHAT you like to drink and WHY you like to drink it.

One of the first things I often ask someone looking to me for a wine recommendation is what they like to taste when they pour a bottle. Is it fruit they want? Perhaps they enjoy a robust, earthy flavor. Or maybe they like a clean, crisp wine with hints of green apple or grapefruit. It isn’t the label or the cost that drives a person’s decision to buy a wine. It is the flavor that pleases their individual palate.

Kramer makes a golden observation that supports my opinion: “The most worthwhile wine judgment continues to rest with talented amateurs. More than any credential-holder I’ve ever met, talented amateurs have always been–and still are–the best judges of wine.” He goes on to explain what he means by “talented amateurs,” those individuals who love wine, or have taken some consideration into what kind of wine to buy, collect, drink. Kramer feels it is this group of people who really hold the key to being a connoisseur. Not because they research wine based on profit or a gold-key standard. This group looks to buy wine they truly enjoy and want to share.

If you drink a wine, you pick it because the bottle is pleasing to your palate. The aromas and flavors make you want to pour another glass or buy another bottle. This is how most wine collectors start–simply by stumbling upon something they love. And as time marches on and tastes change, so can the preference of wine.

When I first started drinking wine years ago I only liked sweet white wines. Despite having access to all the wonderful cabernet and Bordeaux wines in my father’s cellar, I still picked a sweet white (dad cringed every time I opened a bottle). When dad asked me why I didn’t drink his wine I simply said it was because I didn’t prefer the taste. So he figured out how to change that–by gradually introducing me to whites that were less sweet, more dry. Then he moved on to light reds (pinot noirs from California) exposing me to fruity wine that had more body and complexity. I stayed in this area of wine for a long time until my tastes changed again and I fell in love with the heavier reds my dad often cherished. Gone are the days of sweet whites, unless I am drinking a delicious dessert wine or port. Now I choose the wine (white or red) based on my mood, the weather or what I am eating at the time.

To me, wine falls in the same category as art. It is all relative to the person experiencing it. What some wine enthusiasts hail as superb might be terrible to someone else. And that is perfectly okay. Much like the odd piece of modern art, which sells for millions of dollars, wine can undergo the same scrutiny. This is just one of many reasons why I love the world of wine. You don’t have to hold a degree to have a valid opinion about wine. Just because you haven’t tried the crème-de-la-crème from a remote region of Bordeaux doesn’t mean your thoughts have little value.

So to all of you “amateurs” out there sipping, swirling and sniffing your way through bottles of red, white or somewhere in between, I raise a glass to your opinions and welcome them with open arms.Image

Until next time, cheers!

Women: What is Our Self Worth?

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I have to vent a little on this post.  I said in an earlier blog this particular subject would come up again with me.  And now it has…such a dichotomy of thoughts on what I want to express here.  The subject is a woman, and the issue is our self-worth.

So where does one start with this?  History has shown, and still shows to this day, women are often valued based on “self-worth.”  Until the early 21st century, a woman didn’t have a true place outside the home and was considered “worthy” based on the amount of dowry she could bring to a marriage.  Thankfully most of that has changed in modern times.  We have seen the rise of women’s liberation, breaking the glass ceiling and even women holding high-ranking leadership positions throughout the world.  This being said, why do we, as women, still fall into the trap of defining ourselves by our worth?  Why do we focus so hard on the numbers on a scale?  Why do we care whether or not we look a certain way or play a certain role in our life?

It surrounds use everywhere, images of beautiful women on billboards, buses, in magazines and newspapers.  We see them on television, perfect visions of the ideal female body.  Perfect hair, teeth, clothes, you name it and these women have it.  But do they?  It is basic marketing and advertising to promote a product.  Sex sells, right?  Hasn’t that been the slogan of American advertising companies (including Hollywood pictures) to get consumers to buy products or go see a movie?  Catchy phrases and slogans are used to lure women and men into the marketplace to purchase the “next best thing.”  It’s a consumer’s world, and I truly love it all.  But you have to look at these things with jaded goggles.  You have to know which is fact and which is fiction.

I majored in communication studies at Vanderbilt, so I did a lot of reading and writing.  I loved this major mainly because it brought me out of my small town shell and into the real world of thinking and feeling.  My professors pushed me to really dive head first into the words I read in speeches (ranging anywhere from Washington’s Inaugural Address to Martin Luther King’s speeches-there are more than just THE ONE).  I loved hearing these individuals and all their ideals.  The moments that changed their lives and made them better people, better thinkers and better ideologists.  I loved these words because it helped me think more about who I was and who I WANTED to be in this world.

It brings me back to dealing with the mindset I find in my own sex.  The belief that, despite how strong we may appear on the outside, we still fall prey deep down in our psyche to numbers and self-worth ideals.  And I am just as guilty as the woman next to me in line at Target.

Let’s face it; I am a total consumer in today’s modern age.  I love gadgets, read tabloids and watch Entertainment Television.  I do admit reality TV is something I truly despise.  I can’t stomach watching people make complete fools of themselves and believe they are not acting out a pre-scripted role.  Reality?  Not hardly, especially when there is a camera following you around the room.  Think about it-when you get that sudden interview for a local news channel and the camera is shoved in your face, how do you act?  No way close to natural, right?  But I digress…

I have amazing friends in my life, and they all help me in one way or the other.  We support one another, hear the laughter and share the tears.  Yet each time we get together I can’t help but notice how the conversation always turns to the latest diet, what our weight is, or how we wish we looked this way or that way.  Lusting over body types and how much we want to fit “back into our old size.”  Talking about the latest failure in the kitchen (I ate a pan of brownies or devoured a sleeve of Thin Mints), it seems these women (myself included) boil the conversations down to how little we feel our self worth is in life.  And every time I leave a dinner or social gathering with my friends I find myself shaking my head and having to tell myself there is more to life than what came up in our conversations.  We are all strong, independent women with families and responsibilities.  Some of us work outside the home, which adds to the pressures faced each day.  Yet we all still boil down to numbers on a scale or feeling we should fit a certain “mold.”  It makes my heart ache a little to think it, even type it.

So that is what I am here to say in this piece-to remind each and every one of us (myself included) that our self worth is more than just a number on the scale, a size plastered on a pair of designer jeans or an image of what we “wish” we could be in life.  There are so many examples, so many instances where I want to shake the individual in front of me and scream to the person “You are more than this!”  But I don’t, and instead try and offer the most supportive advice and motivation I can.  I have dealt with that battle, the feeling of needing to measure up to the person beside me, to fit an ideal.  And I am over it.  Can I scream that now?  I AM OVER IT!  I know who I am inside and out.  I know my weaknesses and my strengths.  It has taken a lot of time and hard confrontations to realize this, but I am thankful for each and every one of them.  I have handled weight issues, eating “issues” and trying to fit into a certain mold.  But you know what, it really isn’t what matters at the end of the day.  What matters is the knowledge that my children are safe and healthy, my family is happy and that I am doing whatever is in my power to make sure I remain on this earth to take care of them all.  Not because it is what society expects me to do, but because I want to be there.  I want to share in the memories and pass on to my children whatever knowledge I have to offer.  This is what life is really about, making a difference outside of our “self” and fighting tooth and nail against what is typically expected of our sex.

I am not a radical person, just a realistic individual who is tired of the fight waged against my sex.  I am over the feeling that I am not “enough” simply because I don’t work outside the home or volunteer enough at my kids school.  I do the best that I can each and every day, and some days I make huge mistakes while other days I conquer the world.  It would be this way whether I had a 9-5 job or continue the “domestic diva” role I currently hold.  I guess what I am saying is I own up to what I do, find the things in life that make me happy, give fuel to my ambition and try to keep myself balanced.

I am over the feeling that I need to look a certain way.  I like my own style, bright colors and things that make me feel comfortable.  I don’t wear things to impress those around me; I wear things that make me feel GOOD!  If it is considered revealing or out of the ordinary, I don’t care.  It is my style, what I move freely in and what I like.  I know my body and I know my limits.  So I go with it and choose not to sweat the small stuff.  In the end, it doesn’t really matter because I get up the next day to see the sweet smiles of my babies saying “good morning mommy.”  I get a kiss or hug from my husband, and yes I bring him coffee every morning along with my own cup.  These are the things that really matter.

Sure I will have moments when I think a dress may fit a little too tight, or I should lay off the dessert for a few days and let my body recoup.  But I am finished with counting calories, analyzing every single thing that goes in my mouth because it truly makes life miserable.  As I have found, life it way too short to sweat the small stuff.  So here is what I want you to do, if you feel inclined.  Throw away the damn scale (go by how your clothes FEEL).  When you eat food, really taste its flavors and enjoy what it has to offer your palate.  How does the food make your body feel?  Listen to what it tells you and you will discover the things that make your own being function on a healthy day-to-day basis.  Forget trying to fit into a certain mold; instead find what makes you feel good about yourself; what makes your body run the way it should.

Some people may see me as a health freak, or weight-conscious individual who worries about appearances.  But really, I am not.  I do love going to the gym because of the mental release I experience, plus the challenge I can place on myself when I am there.  I need that challenge to exist on a daily basis.  I also love food and cooking.  I enjoy the stuff that isn’t so good for me because I know I also give my body enough of the things that make it feel good.  Balance-that is what I have FINALLY learned.  It has been a long, hard road, but I am getting it a little more each day.

So you see, I am not perfect, nor do I want to be perfect.  I am the person I want to be, I am getting comfortable in my own skin.  And it has been a long and arduous road to get to this point.  But I am so thankful to be here and hopefully can exude some of it on my fellow mates.

Those who know me know I love wine.  Wine is something I can never give up; it’s just a part of my individuality.  And I love learning about it each and every day.  In fact, my wine tip of the day comes from a great magazine article in the latest Wine Spectator.  The article is about Baroness Philippine de Rothschild, the French matriarch of one of the leading vineyards in the world.  Her family has produced award-wining wines from their vineyards in Bordeaux since 1853.  If you haven’t had the chance to taste a Mouton-Rothschild or Lafite-Rothschild, I hope you get it.  The wines are outstanding and always hold up to the Rothschild standard of winemaking.

Interestingly enough, Philippine’s father, Baron Philippe Rothschild, did not believe women had a place in the world.  Yet, here is his daughter holding court over a multi-million dollar business for over 20 years.  She has helped the Rothschild name grow into the 21st century, expanding the family’s business interests across International Waters.  If you get a chance, you should read the article or do some research on this incredible woman.  Pick up the latest copy of Wine Spectator or search the Baroness and her wines online.  There are many subsidiary wineries and joint ventures that won’t drain your wallet but still offer the Rothschild quality.

And for further enlightenment on your journey, here are a few books that I have read along the way; hopefully they will make the same impact on you as they did on me.  Forgive me if I get the bibliography wrong.  I am a bit rusty and blowing the dust off my Bedford Handbook from college.

Bordo, Susan.  Unbearable Weight:  Feminism, Western Culture and the Body.

California:  University of California Press, 1993.

Bordo, Susan.  Twilight Zones:  The Hidden Life of Cultural Images from Plato to O.J.

California:  University of California Press, 1997.

Sadeghi, Dr. Habib.  WITHIN:  A Spiritual Awakening of Love & Weight Loss.

Los Angeles:  Premier Digital Publishing, 2013.

Bradley Bayou.  The Science of Sexy.  New York:  Gotham Books, 2007.

The “Annabelle-ism”

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My daughter, the first-born child in our family, is known to be a little dramatic at times.  Okay, that is a bit of an understatement.  She is EXTREMELY dramatic.  In fact, during one of her “fits” I often find myself saying out loud, “Annabelle would like to thank the Academy….” She doesn’t think it is very funny.  Oops.

When Annabelle first started talking and putting thoughts together, I decided to start a continual document on my computer called “Annabelle-isms.”  I record every single funny, embarrassing, out-spoken thing this child has said in her short six years on this planet.  And I absolutely love going back through them, reminiscing on all the face-squishing moments this little girl has caused me over the years.  But one story in particular I feel the need to share because it still brings tears of laughter to my eyes when I read it.

This story takes place when Annabelle was a little over three years of age.  I did not have Addison, our son, at this point in time.  Just Annabelle-and believe me, she was enough to handle.  The day was pretty typical for the two of us, visiting the gym, running errands and getting groceries before heading home.  Naptime was quickly approaching, but Annabelle and I had made it all the way through the store without a major meltdown (thanks to me opening up a package of Oreos).  Now, I don’t know about your grocery store, but our checkout aisles are junked-up with magazines, candy racks, gum and the occasional cigarette lighter paraphernalia.  I pick an aisle that had as little as possible for little hands to grab.  Annabelle continues to sit in the front of the cart eating Oreos as I begin to load my items on the conveyor belt.  All of a sudden she starts to yell, “Mommy, Mommy!”

Now, for you moms out there, I know when you hear the word “mommy” you let it go in one ear and out the other unless it has that specific “tone.”   The one which lets you know the child is hurt or in trouble.  It is the difference between a whine and an actual call of alarm.  This specific “mommy” Annabelle was saying over and over had the tone of “I want your attention, and I want it now…but my limbs are still intact.”

I glanced up at Annabelle to give her my attention when she started pointing at all the miscellaneous things in our particular aisle.  “No Annabelle,” I began.  “You can’t have the Pez candy dispenser!”  This is where it gets good.  “No Mommy, I don’t want that.  I need my lighter.”

“Your what?”  I ask her, stopping in mid-air with my unloading.  “Your lighter?”

“Yeah, my lighter,” she continues in this innocent voice.  “I need it for my cigarettes.”

Oh. My. Gosh.  The first thing that pops into my head is how does she know lighters and cigarettes go together.  Oh wait, my mother is a smoker.  There you go…insert literary eye roll.

Now, as the words so eloquently come out of her mouth I notice a nice young gentleman behind me waiting to check out.  And I make the mistake of locking eyes with him.  I see scorn and judgment in them.  Sweat starts to form at the base of my neck.  This guy seriously believes my kid knows what she is asking for right now?  Has he ever heard the phrase “kids just say the darnedest things?”

I give him a nervous laugh-you know the one I am talking about, right?  The kind of laugh you used when you had to explain to your parents why the car had a busted light or why the vodka bottle was filled with water.  It was one of those laughs.  He continues to just stare and judge-Mr. Personality.  Meanwhile, my devil-of-a-daughter is still yelling for the cigarettes and lighter!  Oh Lord, help me now!  I see a “coming-to-Jesus” session with my mom over this one.  Can the floor just swallow me up right now?  I wanted to scream at the man behind me, “I don’t smoke, it’s my mom who smokes!  Yes, I give my kid high fructose corn syrup, but not nicotine!”

By this point in time I was basically hurling my grocery items towards the kid who was starting to bag stuff up.  I desperately needed to get the heck out of dodge.  Annabelle’s rants were starting to draw more attention around me.  I looked at Annabelle and said in what I hope was a calm and orator-like voice, “Honey, stop.  You don’t smoke (oh really?) and you don’t have cigarettes (another genius statement, Samantha).”  I continue on as if I’m scolding a teenager caught smoking under the school bleachers.  “No one in our house smokes.  Let’s go.”

I pushed the cart Annabelle was sitting in towards the bagger so he could load our groceries.  Then I planned to pull a Florence Joyner and sprint out of the store.  The entire situation was embarrassing and hysterical, all in the same moment.  A typical Off-Broadway satire that only a mom could truly appreciate.  I am sure anyone who witnessed the entire scene was left scratching his or her head in confusion, wondering what the heck just happened.  Oh, and did that kid really ask for cigarettes and a lighter?

And for the guy behind me in line with the dagger-shooting, disdain-filled eyeballs (who obviously didn’t have kids), I have this to say.  One day you will have a child, girl or boy, and in your mind you will have a vision of how this child will carry his- or herself in public.  And this said child will completely pull that figmental rug from under your feet, wrap it over your head, then proceed to perform a “Dutch Oven” on you (if you don’t know what is, look it up and laugh).

So there you have it, one of my best “Annabelle-isms” to this day.  But I am sure as time rolls on and she learns more vocabulary words, witnesses more inappropriate cable commercials and acquires new “habits” from her school friends, my Word document will just keep getting longer and longer.

Now, if I have to compare my daughter to a wine in this world I would have to choose something with pepper and spice.  What better wine to serve such a purpose than a red Zinfandel?  Don’t confuse this wine with the light pink version on the markets.  Yes, that wine is made from the same Zinfandel grape, but it has been mixed with white varieties and sweetened up a bit.  The wine I am speaking of is robust, not anywhere close to light-bodied or sweet.

I am new to the world of Zinfandels, but when I had some a few months ago at a tasting I fell in love with their spicy undertones.  They completely surprise the palate, hinting at blackberry and currant when you first sip, but then blasting your tongue with a bold spice that could stand up to any meal you serve on the table.

Zinfandels have their biggest presence in California, but you will also find some from southern Italy and even Australia.  I would go to your local liquor store or wine shop and try a few different bottles, compare their likenesses and differences.  You don’t have to break the bank to find some good labels.  If you want to try a trusted name, Rombauer (California) makes a Zinfandel that would cost you around $30.  One label I have had is Quivira (California).  Their Dry Creek Valley Zinfandel will only cost you about $20, and it held up nicely to this particular grape’s heritage.

Until next time, cheers!

Loosing a Father.

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Loosing a Father.

*Written January 21, 2013*

The one-year anniversary of my father’s death rapidly approaches and I have found myself contemplating the past year without his presence.  Dad and I were so close, as close as any daughter could be to her father.  We were so much alike, yet different in many ways.  Dad was always someone I could talk to and know I would get that “realistic perspective” of life, and he was never afraid to tell me his honest opinion-even if it was completely opposite of what I wanted to hear.

Dad touched a lot of lives for the 72 years he called Earth home.  He was a husband, a father, an uncle, and a grandfather.  But what he loved being the most was a doctor.  For the sake of time and space, Dad’s medical career was outstanding.  He started out as a general practitioner in the Air Force back in the late sixties, and after a tour in Vietnam, came back to settle down in Memphis.  He married mom in 1975 and in the next few years decided he really wanted to specialize in radiology.  By 1982 he reached this dream, moved mom and myself up to Cape Girardeau, and spent the remainder of his life working as a radiologist for Cape Radiology Group.

Dad and I shared many loves, but the main one we connected over was wine.  Anything and everything I know about wine comes from what dad taught me over the years.  Now I continue this passion, and seem to be converting my husband from Budweiser products over to Napa Cabernets.

I could go on and on about my dad, about how much I miss this man, about the piece of my heart that aches and longs for one of his great big bear hugs.  But I would be here all year if I took time to write everything down.  For those who have lost loved ones, you know the kind of pain and loneliness that comes from death.  Others may have yet to experience this.  One thing is for sure, we all have to face death at some point in our life, and the ordeal is never easy.  So end today by telling someone you care about how you feel, give them a hug or a kiss, or simply take time to have a conversation and find out about their day.  Because tomorrow, that person could be gone.

My father’s favorite Napa cabernet has to be Raymond.  Raymond Vineyards, located in St. Helena, CA, was always considered to be a “table wine” in my dad’s home.  It was one of the first wines he learned to collect on, dissect and truly enjoy as a connoisseur of California reds.  I still enjoy this wine on a weekly basis, thanks to my dad.  And I hope you find a bottle to enjoy too.

To learn more about Raymond Wines, visit http://www.raymondvineyards.com.

Until next time, cheers!