Tag Archives: mental health

Mar5

How Fear Leads Into Grace

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How Fear Leads Into Grace

I love the song, “If I Say,” by Mumford and Sons. This song speaks of love, loss, understanding, acceptance, and questions the human psyche. One of the most poignant quotes of this heartfelt song (to me) is, “The Soul survives, but peace you’ll never find…” How earth-shattering is that phrase, I ask you?

I have always struggled with the word “fear.” I have feared failure, feared death, feared love, feared loss, and the list just goes on and on. In the past, fear has affected my physical health, my mental health, and my ability to find my own truth. Fear has driven me to the edge of so many cliffs during the former part of my life, causing me to have missed out on so many great opportunities simply because I was “afraid.” Looking back now, I am regretful with myself for letting fear get the best of me, but I have also learned to find that silver lining in what I uncovered within me because I have worked so hard to eliminate fear as a ruling hand in my life.

Fear has commonly been used throughout time since the world saw its first ray of sunlight. It has been used to drive people to do unthinkable things in society. Fear has been used to evoke emotional reactions. And it’s been used to force people into negative situations. If you look at history, the world is filled with instances of how fear has been attributed to the actions and behaviors of others. From biblical times, to World Wars, and eventually within the height of social media, fear has been about control. It has been about ownership of someone or something else. It has been about controlling someone’s narrative in life. We see this today all over television and the internet. We also see it in personal relationships, domestic situations, and in countries trying to squash ideologies. Fear is one of the most negative emotions within the human spirit. Most are held in shackles to its immense presence, freezing the body in place. And yet, there are times when an individual can look fear in the face and find strength to push back.

l have spent a lot of time and effort learning to overcome fear in life. Between therapy sessions, self-help books, and countless scriptures, I have made headway into overcoming fear. But lately, it has reared its ugly head again. It has gripped me so hard at times, I feel my own breath stop. It has sent me into some of the darkest mental places to the point of making me physically ill the minute my eyes open in the morning. So how does one surface in the ocean of despair and find the light of calmness?

It begins with one word: Grace.

I have written before how grace is a true gift from Heaven. Grace is what we all need when we are trying to deal with fear, or any other emotion for that matter. It gives us the space we need to catch our breath, to sigh with relief and know peace can and will find its way towards us. Grace is the “golden ticket” because it embraces the faults and failures we experience in life, offering solace in the notion that we are imperfect individuals. We are all battling our own wars against things in this life. Grace allows us to have the freedom to become the victor, to make our personal surrender to our future and start anew with the next sunrise. Grace can bring calmness, or it can bring much needed change. Grace can lay a soothing hand in a moment of unthinkable despair because it provides space for healing. Grace is not about regret for things in the past, but more about letting go and learning to live again. Grace is about finding oneself at this point in life, and learning to love the newest spaces we end up encompassing.

I have had to learn how to welcome grace into my life. I have had to teach myself that mistakes and imperfections are some of the softest threads weaving themselves into the fabric of my soul. I have always told my children when they are upset about some sort of fear in their life how we are all going to mess up. There was only one perfect human to ever walk this earth, and He is guiding us each and every day through the mistakes we have made and will make because we are not perfect people. We are just trying to live the best we can with what we are given each day. Struggles are real for all of us, so remember no one person is exempt. That, my dear readers, is the beautiful web of life we weave each and every day. The relationships we forage create a sense of belonging to this notion that grace can get us through it together. It comes down to self-reflection and understanding how to accept imperfection. I hope reading my own struggles with fear and my newfound ability to accept grace into my life helps those of you out there fighting your own battles. Dust yourself off after the fall from your fear, and know you are not alone. You are amongst the rest of us still struggling everyday to find that “golden ticket” to mental wellbeing and personal peace.

I love quotes, and here are a few that I have saved to share with you:

“Be patient with yourself. You are growing stronger every day. The weight of the world will become lighter…and you will begin to shine brighter. Don’t give up.” -Robert Tew

“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.” -Steve Maraboli

“‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

Until next time,

Cheers

Jan16

Abandoning the Expectations of Others to Save Yourself

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Abandoning the Expectations of Others to Save Yourself

I did a personality test last year at the encouragement of my therapist. For those of you who have never taken a personality test, I highly recommend it. My two favorites are Myers-Briggs and the Enneogram. The test I took this time was the Meyer-Briggs personality text, and I came out with a hard core E.N.F.P. personality score.

E.N.F.P. stands for Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving. When I read the descriptions, I wanted it tattooed all over my body so people would truly understand me to the fullest extent. I am a people person to the core, and have the ability to tell when others are hurting, anxious, or just “off.”

The problem I face with this personality is I often let way too many people into my personal “hula hoop,” which causes myself to become mentally drained quicker than most individuals. Another downfall to being an ENFP is the need to have approval and acceptance from others. It causes me to overthink situations and become overly emotional.

Understanding this about myself has truly been a blessing in disguise because it has helped me recognize the cracks in my own mental health. My mental health has taken a pretty big dive over the last few years, leading me into some dark spaces of self-loathing and despair. I chose to write about this and openly talk about it to highlight the importance of good mental health for society.

There is nothing shameful or degrading about admitting and understanding our own mental health struggles. It is quite the opposite, in fact. It shows strength of character to openly admit our mental struggles and weaknesses, and to be willing to ask for help in overcoming it. We have seen way too many people struggle with depression, suicidal thoughts, and destructive behaviors because of major cracks existing within our mental heath.

My journey of overcoming my mental health struggles has led me to tremendous self-growth and the ability to abandon the expectations of others without abandoning myself in the process. It has been a long hard two years of work on me, learning how to truly believe in myself and the person that beckons to be seen and heard at 45 years old.

Do I still draw strength and love from people around me? Absolutely. My tribe is strong and true to me, and they love me for the person I am inside my mind and heart. But, the biggest change I have seen is finding ways to draw strength from within, seek divine guidance, and continuously teaching myself ways to rely on ME and the strengths God has given me.

Learning how to give yourself personal high fives should be celebrated, not condoned. There is a huge difference between loving who you are and all God wants you to be versus total narcissistic behaviors. People are often too quick to judge others because they don’t recognize the difference. Perhaps it is because these individuals are too jaded by the world, ignorant and too accepting of gossipy words, or just plain frightened of looking themselves in the mirror.

Mistakes are a part of life, and forgiveness and grace are true gifts from Heaven. So is the ability to let go of everyone’s expectations so you have the chance to see what your beautiful soul can accomplish. We are all just caterpillars wanting and learning how to become beautiful butterflies.

Until next time,

Cheers

Apr8

I Choose Happy

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I Choose Happy

Today is a big day. It’s the total solar eclipse. And our area of the country is the hotbed of activity for it. Whatever your thoughts and feelings are about space, science, whether this is the end of days…just stop the chatter and get your special glasses and go witness one of God’s beautiful phenomenons. Stop and take a moment to appreciate something bigger than you. And this is where I lead into my next post. It involves choosing. Because one of our gifts from above is the power of Choice.

Again, I woke up this morning just letting my brain ramble on with different ideas, and this one idea kept repeating itself: I Choose Happy. I couldn’t stop thinking about it, so I knew it was going to become a post. For those of you who know me personally, you know my biggest thing I am apparently known for is the absolute loudest, probably most obnoxious laugh for someone who is 5′ 2″ tall. But I can’t change it, and it was one of the things my late father loved the most about me. So in 40 something years, I have learned to embrace it wholeheartedly.

It brings me to the idea rambling in my brain this morning of choosing happy. I am not even sure the birds were chirping. I kept rolling it over and over in my mind. It made me truly contemplate about the choice I make each day to choose Happy. In the world we live in, it’s so easy to go negative. To see the bad in things. To turn on the T.V. and hear how awful the world is, and the people who inhabit it. It’s a choice. It’s a mindset. And it’s power.

The human brain is a huge, mushy mess of muscle and nerves that needs to be “trained” on a daily basis. It needs stimulation, guidance, and it needs us as much as we need it to survive and be functional. So why not train for something more positive? Why not try and see the best in the world, and not focus so much on why things are terrible. I can easily wake up each morning and think, “yuck, it looks cold. The clouds are coming in so I bet it rains.” But what if I “choose” to see the clouds as a sign for rain that we probably need, or a calm serenity in nature that means today will be chill. I might even get to read a book because it’s raining outside. I choose the Happy.

I also understand there are two sides to this notion of happiness. And our circumstances can easily suck it out of us in an instant. Sometimes it’s hard to be happy. Emotions, hormones, life in general, can all take away our happiness too quickly. So we have to fight for that feeling of goodness and find a way to smile. It’s literally the one thing which can change a mood, stop a fight, plow over feelings of despair. The choices we make in life can also make or break our happiness. Shouldn’t we try and train our brains to make decisions which can change the course of our lives? Think about it this way, we have a TON of muscles in our face. As we age, those muscles definitely make their presence more known. My mom always said she would rather have wrinkles from laughing than frowning. And I can’t agree more with that amazing statement. So I do, I choose laughter, I choose the Happy so one day my kids will see my wrinkles from laughing instead of frowning.

Laughter can change a mood in the room. It can change the way a crowd feels in a split second. We have all been in situations where sadness is everywhere and it feels heavy, like a soaked horse blanket. Then suddenly someone remembers something happy and good that takes away the negative emotions of the moment and brings in a small ray of light and laughter. It’s like a breath of fresh spring air filling your lungs with hope and promise. It’s the Happy we all so desperately need.

I love quotes and I always like to write my favorites down in my journals and on my laptop. So here is one of the quotes I have recently stumbled upon that may be my new mantra in life:

” A day without laughter is a day wasted.” –Charlie Chaplin

Choose the Happy. Go enjoy the eclipse with the rest of the world. And remember to find something today to make you smile.

Until next time,

Cheers

Mar20

You Try, I Try, We all Try

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You Try, I Try, We all Try

Have you ever thought about the word “try?” It’s a simple word, no vowels needed, but the power it holds is immense. I woke up early this morning thinking about this word and how it molds and shapes my life. It’s impactful because it’s used every single day by pretty much most of us walking this earth.

When we use the word “try” in a sentence, it tells our audience we are forcing an action of sorts. We can “try” and do better with our jobs. We can “try” and do better with our relationships. We can “try” and do better with who we are and how we live. But the one common thread that runs through any of these scenarios is the type of action taken which causes us to change who and what we are in life. But what if we thought of a different word, one that only has two letters. One that actually uses a consonant and a vowel to show action. What if we focused on the word “Be?”

One of my favorite verses in the Bible from the book of Psalms is “Be Still and know I am God.” In this one simple phrase God is not telling us to “Try” and know Him. He is telling us to stop, in whatever we are doing, in whomever we are as a person, in whatever facet of life we find ourselves, and simply “be.” It’s so impactful when you put the two words together because it shows just how much merit we hold in one word versus the other. And yet, if we just worked on the shortest one, life might behold a more feasible solution.

The word “try” tells us to be better, to do better, because at that moment we hold failure. I never truly understood the negativity that can come from something so simple until I found myself constantly using it on my own person. I failed at this, so I must “try” and change. I am constantly doing this wrong, so I must “try” and find a different solution. I need to “try” and reach higher to better myself. We see this interpersonal conversation with so many things in life. Think about athletes on any level, amateur or professional, and see how often the word “try” is intwined in their daily routine. “Try” harder to make the play, to beat your time, to win the game. We create such a negative connotation for something that could be intended for the positive. Maybe that is why I feel the word “be” should be used more in life.

I know it won’t fit every scenario for those of you out there living in a “this or that,” “right or wrong,” “black or white” kind of world, and you most likely disagree with what I am saying. But for those of us that live in shades of grey, who realize not everything is so concrete, the way we use these two words can change EVERYTHING. It can change how we view ourselves, how we love ourselves and the imperfect way God created us by simply “being” instead of always “trying.”

So as you move through your day today, and every day forward, I just want you to simply think about these two words and how you allow them to shape your life. Because sometimes if you don’t stop and “be” you will continue to always search for the “try.”

Until next time,

Cheers

Mar11

Pieces of the Puzzle

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Pieces of the Puzzle

I have always loved to work puzzles. They are something you can enjoy alone or with others, and it’s also a great way to share conversations. Puzzles are one of those things that can be joyful and overly frustrating all in the same moment. A few weeks ago, I woke up thinking about relationships and suddenly I made a juxtaposition between puzzle pieces and various interconnections we have in life. To me, puzzles and relationships mimic each other in a unique sense. It can fit any kind of kinship we have, from our parents and friends to significant others and family members. Both create a kind of imagery to life when interlocked into specific places and patterns.

Brand new and straight out of the box, puzzle pieces seem to fit perfectly together when correctly locked into place. As time moves forward, and the puzzle is put through the test of being locked together and unlocked, the edges of the pieces begin to show wear and tear. They begin to not fasten as tightly and perfectly into place. Puzzle pieces get bent and the edges start to peel away from its cardboard base. Age, environment, or the amount of chances the puzzle is completed all play a part in how each unique piece can withstand time.

I see relationships harboring much of the same characteristics as a puzzle piece. When new and freshly unwrapped, the people in the relationship seem to fit perfectly together. But outside forces, life tragedies, or even personal change, can all play a part in how those relationships continue to link together over time. The final image can get muddled and skewed because each corner of the relationship piece becomes frayed and warped.

So how do you find a way to make the puzzle work when it becomes worn? Do you try and glue down the edges so they appear to look like they can form a perfect picture? Do you open a fresh box, being more mindful of how the pieces are treated? Or in some cases, do you put the puzzle together once, enjoying the beautiful picture and then glue it all together so it never comes apart?

The more times we do a puzzle the less we pay attention to how the pieces interlock, causing irregularity and disfigurement. As in a relationship, you can’t force pieces to connect together if they are not perfectly cut to match. And the bigger the puzzle, the more pieces there are to decipher through and make that perfect fit. In this essence it’s easy to see how we struggle with our own puzzle pieces in life. We may find some fit easily and perfectly together, forming the intended picture displayed on the box. Other puzzles are frustrating and complicated and cause us to force pieces together which appear to match, but realistically are off by a hairline cut. Those are the puzzles we often work the hardest on and sometimes the picture-perfect image is made and in other instances the challenge is too much and we end up throwing the pieces back in the box and shelving it permanently.

So the next time you find yourself in a “puzzling” situation, think about the pieces that create the image. There can be hundreds or thousands of pieces needed to make whatever picture you are trying to create. Perhaps if we viewed all relationships like we view a puzzle, the world would interlock more easily and a beautiful image would be the picture-perfect outcome.

Until next time,

Cheers.

Feb11

Listen to Your Heart

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Okay, I’m not talking about the song by Roxette. I’m talking about, “if your heart could speak, what would it say?”

I think we forget how important our hearts our to our health, and not just in the physical capacity. It’s important in the mental capacity too. The human heart is the beginning for a lot of things in life-how we feel, what we think, the way we live, and even our ability to lead others. When our hearts are out of balance, our entire being becomes out of balance.

This weekend I attended a Christian women’s conference called the “If: Gathering.” This conference covered a lot of areas that affect women, from recognizing our self-worth, to understand our heart, and it was all based within an awe-inspiring spiritual platform that was extremely motivational. Our spirituality, however it presents itself in us, determines the way our heart functions. Spirituality is so important when it comes to listening to our hearts. So this weekend I listened to mine over and over again. I listened to what Jesus was trying to say to my own heart. That I am worth it, that He loves me, and that I need to play closer attention to my heart. I need to do this because everything flows from our hearts. I feel like I need to type this again…EVERYTHING FLOWS FROM OUR HEARTS.

When we guard our heart, we implement a protection mechanism against the world around us. But we also have to be very careful that we don’t shut things off completely and isolate our hearts. How we think about ourselves, or our ability at self-awareness, can change our entire biological make-up. It is the mind-body connection we hear often about from health guru’s like Deepak Chopra.

Have you ever thought about happiness? Did you know that just by being around someone who is a happy person, you increase your own happiness by 15%? And if that happy person you are around chooses to surround themselves with happy people, regardless if you come into contact with them or not, you can increase your personal happiness by another 10%? Crazy, right? But Deepak Chopra has the science to back this after years of studying well-being and the mind-body connection to this concept. So as I sat in this conference for two days, surrounded by people who were filled with the love of Jesus, of course I felt that energy inside me!

Americans tend to hold onto existential happiness, meaning we might feel happy right now in this monument, but we tend to focus on how miserable we could feel an hour from now, or how unhappy we were in our youth. And that doesn’t bode well for the heart because that type of happiness isn’t deep and it isn’t genuine. To change our ability for our hearts to remain healthy, we have to change our thinking. Again, it’s a mind-body connection that can make our break our health.

So what can you do to begin listening to your own heart? The first step is to be open to change. Be open to the idea that you have the power to transform how your brain functions. Nothing is set in stone, and you, my friend, are in the pilot’s seat. Find your spiritual ground and let that love and acceptance pour into your own heart. Never underestimate the power of Spirituality. I never underestimate Jesus, and when I stop and listen, it blows me away how He impacts my heart.

Break negative patterns that bring you down and place a blanket of heaviness over your heart. Negativity and anxiety will tear down a healthy body brick by brick if you allow it. Examine your relationships and find people to be around who are happy. I’m not talking about existential happy, I’m talking about that person that can sense the joy in just about anything. They CHOOSE happiness, and by surrounding yourself within their positive energy, you too can become happier. It’s okay to let relationships go that pull you down. Sometimes it’s the healthiest and safest thing we can do to guard our heart.

Our bodies are information and energy fields, so how we process information and where we place ourselves in life can and will determine our body’s ability to be healthy, balanced, and happy. Loving up on others creates happiness within us; giving attention and appreciation to another person will automatically induce happy hormones within your body. So go out today and just pay someone a compliment out of the blue. See how their facial muscles change in an instant. You will reap the benefits, I promise.

Our hearts are something we need to guard and protect because it determines the path our health can follow. But we also need to recognize when it’s okay to let it open and let people in. Let in love and happiness, find ways to fill your mind with things that will leave a lasting impression on your heart, not just a temporary sense of elation. Once you begin to listen to your heart, I believe you will be amazed by the way your body responds.

Until next time,

Cheers

Sep15

Cracks of Imperfection

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I love to run outside.  There is something therapeutic and detoxifying about running with nature all around you.  With music pumping in my ears and the wind in my face, a cacophony of melodies one can’t find on a treadmill is suddenly formed all around me.

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The other day I was running, and when I do run I let my mind open up freely to explore all kinds of thoughts and feelings. One thing that kept popping up in my brain was all the cracks and crevices I run beside on the streets.  It made me think of how we, as in our inner self, are cracked in just the same way as that pavement.  Pressures of life often break through our concrete wall of self-assurance and positivity.  We are all imperfect people striving to lead a perfect life, and along the way we acquire some pretty big potholes to show for it.  But there is beauty in those imperfections too.  They are learning curves, they are life experiences, they are tears of pain and joy.  But most of all they are the things that make us who we are today, right now.

Self-Reflection is one of the healthiest things we can do for ourselves because it permits us to look at those “cracks” we have made over time, see the good, the bad, and the ugly with them, then try and heal from it.  Whatever you see when you look in the mirror, whatever “cracks” you have staring back at you, know that those are teachable moments in life.  They might be mistakes made or things that happen to us which are out of our control.  But remember that Love and Hope are greater powers than Negativity and Self-Destruction.  Know that something higher out there is holding you up (for me that is Jesus), helping you along the way through this crazy thing we call “Life.”

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(Photo by Becca Lavin on Unsplash)

So the next time you see a large crack in the pavement, recognize what it took to get there.  And relish in the fact that, even though the crack exist, the Foundation is still standing strong and holding up to the environment around it.

 

Until next time,

Cheers

Jun12

Breaking Free

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I hate to generalize, but I will here for a bit. American culture can exude a propensity for living by the “work hard, play hard” mentality. Don’t get me wrong here, I don’t necessarily disagree with it. But I do find myself at times wondering why we spin our wheels so fast each and every day but fail to stop and take notice of the ground we are traveling on? Let me explain my meaning. During my program to become a health coach, there were consistent lectures given by some of the best and brightest in the health and wellness industry tackling this very notion. And to be honest, a lot of what they said made sense. We overcrowd our schedules with things we feel “need” to be accomplished and wonder why at the end of the day we crash and burn in a blaze of cranky attitudes and a failure to connect with those we love.

I often find myself chewing on the idea of “slowing down.” I am not talking about a vacation where you sit for a week and relax. I am talking about each and every day taking time to stop, let my brain rest and recharge, and not constantly go at Mach speed. It’s not an easy change, trust me. You feel lazy and unproductive because your mind is telling you, if you have a moment to spare, get something useful accomplished. But perhaps the things we need to get accomplished could be done more efficiently if we had a better “head space?”

If we can break free from the chains of expectations that bind us daily, we might be able to have healthier lives and more meaningful relationships. Of course, this way of thinking is so far from our norm, the change won’t happen overnight. It might happen in generations, if we are lucky. But I do truly feel we age ourselves, body and soul, because we fail to take in the simple beauties this world has to offer.

So what will your starting point be to create more space in your day for mental and physical rest? Today I chose to sit outside on my back porch and listen to the gentle roll of thunder and rain provided by a summer storm. And in that moment of time, my headspace became clearer and my attitude heightened.

I highly suggest you give it a try sooner than later.

Until next time,

Cheers

Mar14

Ruminate This!

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Sleeping woman

Do you ever have those nights when you wake up around 3 in the morning, your mind starts spinning, and suddenly you are mentally jotting down all the things you have to get accomplished for the next day?  This was me yesterday morning, and there was no going back to sleep.

I woke up and looked at my alarm clock, which read 3:30 AM. “Ugh,” I thought to myself. “Here we go.”  I knew what was going to happen in the next few moments because I had gone to bed thinking about something that was weighing on my heart. So the moment my eyeballs popped open, my mind went straight to that situation and the horses started sprinting for the finish line.  I tossed and turned until about 5 AM, then finally gave up and went downstairs to make coffee.

As I wrote in my journal that morning, I realized there is a repeat pattern here and I feel I am not the only one doing this sort of thing.  Psychology Today has a name for this sort of thing, called “rumination.”  Ruminating is basically when we have something on our mind, a problem or worry, and we continue to think about it until it winds up causing our minds to go into a tailspin of anxiety and depression.  Of course some situations are worse than others, but if you find yourself waking up constantly over a specific worry or concern, you could be setting yourself up for something worse than just a trip to the bathroom or a drink of water.

When I am out do dinner with my lady friends the topic of not sleeping seems to always come up among us.  I have consciously made a note of how many individuals do this sort of thing, and pretty much most of us are getting up at some point in the night.  This also means none of us are giving our bodies the rest they need.  I am not saying we all are suffering from anxiety or depression, but when you think about the typical stress levels we place upon ourselves on a daily basis, ruminating is likely to happen.  I recently listened to an audio lecture about dealing with stress and worry. The constant theme that came up in this series was how our stressed-out society never takes a break from what we place on ourselves, resulting in all sorts of health issues.  One of those issues is, of course, lack of sleep.

Sleep is one of the most important things we can do to keep our bodies and minds healthy, so when you don’t get enough, your entire system can get out of whack. Sounds awesome, right?  So do you find yourself constantly waking up at night stressed or worried about the next day or about a list of problems?  What can you do?

Well, there are several things you can try to help get your mind out of the “rumin-rut.”

One way you can break the cycle of worry and stress is to just try and laugh more during your day.  Stop taking yourself so seriously all the time and get some good guffaws in.  Think about a funny time, or look at pictures of fun memories.  It’s much better to have laughing wrinkles than frowning wrinkles!

Find someone you can talk to in confidence.  Getting things off your chest and out in the open is a great way to work through a problem or situation.  Keeping things bottled up inside will only cause the issue to fester and eat at your mind.

Find ways to relax, even if it’s just for five minutes.  Give your brain a chance to decompress and break up the monotony of your daily grind.  Meditate, go for a short walk, sit down and listen to calming music, take a coffee break and read a book. Whatever it is that gives you peace of mind, do it, and do it for at least five to ten minutes each day.

We are responsible for our own cognitive health, and that means taking the bull by the horns and finding ways to fix the stress we have in life.  Things may not go any slower for you, but you need to take care of your brain and get your rest.  Trust me, your mind and your body will thank you.

Until next time,

Cheers

Nov29

Worth the Risk?

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“I think there should be a God-honoring, obedient risk in our lives every single day…I’m saying that Jesus lives on the other side of our comfort.  And that when we get comfortable for too long, we start to miss our need for God.”  –Jennie Allen

I always find it interesting how I choose my next topic to write upon.  Sometimes there is a pressing notion on my mind, and other times it just slaps me across the face and I can’t get the thought out of my head until I have it down on paper.  That is what happened today as I read from Jennie Allen’s book “Nothing to Prove.”  This particular chapter talked about Jesus’ risk for us, and how we tend to avoid risk in life.  We like the comfortable spot in the chair, or in our church pew, just so long as not too much gets shaken up.  I started to contemplate all the “risks” I have found myself taking lately in life.  Things I would probably have never had the courage or tact to do even five years ago.  And I could see the point Jennie was trying to make.  We, as human beings, have a tendency to make our decisions based on fears (or the fear of risk) instead of relying on our faith to guide us.

Faith can have different meanings for various spiritualities, but for me, it means I am a follower of Jesus and I strive to live my life out in my faith through Him.  Jesus risked so much to give me life, and it makes my own fears seem obsolete.  So as I kept reading Allen’s book, I was thinking about my own battles with fear, how have I worked to overcome those fears, and what am I still lacking when I am supposed to obediently live the “what would Jesus do” lifestyle.  It also had me thinking about risk.

As a child, I would not have considered myself a risk-taker.  For those of you who knew me then, and even read this blog, you would probably agree.  I was always a rule-follower and didn’t stray far from the safe path in life.  I didn’t take huge risks when it came to school, relationships, or physical activities.  I chose not to “put myself out there,” whether it be fear of failure or rejection.  I came out of adolescence with only a few bruises, but what opportunities did I miss because I failed to take a risk? Because my fear of failing overruled my desire to see what the grass looked like on the other side of the fence?

Moving away to school was the first big “risk” I took, and it began a slow, yet steady tick of finding myself in life.  It has taken years, and a lot of life experiences, but I am letting that fear of risk slowly go.  Rome was not built in a day, so this does take time.  Yet, it is so liberating when you can finally be comfortable in your own skin and own your identity.  The space I take up in this world, I worked hard to own and this is just the beginning.  I have built some pretty amazing relationships in life, am putting myself out there more to become involved in big ideas, and realizing that fear and risk are not necessarily bad things.  Just so long as I can keep my faith in perspective and Jesus in my heart.  I am not expecting to move mountains or set the world on fire with my new-found, risk-taking attitude.  But what I hope to achieve is a more solid foundation to stand on as I get older and live my life.  To show my children that taking a God-filled risk can result in some awesome discoveries, no matter how scary the idea.

“Every time we risk, we place our lives in the hands of our God and test His enoughness.  It is for freedom and joy that we stand out past the limits and confines of our comfort.”  –Jennie Allen

Risk-taking means the chance of bumps and bruises.  It’s like me cringing when I see my kids race on their bikes or try to ski behind a boat.  I know there lies the chance for broken bones or bruised egos, but the flip side is the joy and elation they feel whenever they succeed.  The knowing and trusting that God has them in His arms and protects them more than I ever could as a mother.  It’s the million dollar question shored up by eternal salvation, grace, and love.  I just have to remember to let the fear go, to let the risk happen, and to trust more.  That doesn’t mean I’m going to let my kids run in traffic, or that I am going to hit the blackjack tables in Vegas.  Instead, I know I am not always going to be there to offer protection and help to my children.  And I know that Jesus watches over them as they take their own risks through life, just as I know He watches over me as I am taking more of mine.  It’s not an easy thing to do, to let go and let God.  But then again, who said life was going to be easy?

So I ask you to think about your own risk-taking, fear-loathing attitude in life, and maybe kick it up a notch or two.  See what you can do to put yourself out there more.  Will you build a new relationship, or perhaps mend an old and damaged one.  Will you jump towards a new career, or maybe move thousands of miles away.  It’s hard to say how the cards will play when you take a risk or two, but I pray you find it and settle in for the ride.

Until next time,

Cheers