Category Archives: Healthy Mind

Jan14

Memory Lane

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New year, and that means doing some closet cleaning. You know how that goes…baby clothes, costumes, toys, and the occasional miscellaneous beach bag you only used once. It all needs to be purged, organized, and eliminated from the chaos we call “life.” But in one of the items I was cleaning out, I discovered some journals from my college days. Oh my, how great it was to walk back down memory lane with my college self, and all the immature selfishness that goes along with this period in one’s life.

Circa May 1997

So what was happening in the mind of an 18 year old college student at Vanderbilt University? Well, stress is one of the common threads in my journal. I talk about the stress of classes, the stress of trying to fit into a world I didn’t think I belonged. The stress of trying to keep relationships going, but watching them crumble. I read about heartache over the loss of family members and frustration with may parents, whom I felt were dictating to me how I needed to live over the two-state distance. I also read about a desire for more confidence and the need to figure out who I wanted to become while living away from home for the first time in my life.

If you have never had the chance to step back into your 18-year-old self, I am sad for you. It is comical, but also a bit disheartening. It will humble you in a flat second too. Because now, as a 39-year-old woman, I realize the things that seemed so major at that time in my life were actually small in scale compared to the challenges I would face in my more adult lifetime. But I also see some beauty in this method of self-reflection. I can get a glimpse into how my daughter might think of things when she is this age. I see how my son could get frustrated at me as a parent when he goes to college. This journal might be a flash to the past for me, but it is also a peek into the future for two children who are very much like me, although still very different. I am thankful for having a sort of “crystal ball” into parenting my children. The things I wrote about the people around me, whether they were fellow college student or my own parents driving me crazy, spans the test of time. Behaviors will remain the same, even though circumstances will greatly change. Yes, my kids will face different battles than me because their world is totally different than the world I lived in during 1997. And yet, common human behaviors and natures will still be there. So maybe this little “God Wink” of mine is a tool I can keep for future use.

I plan to read some of my entries to my 11-year-old daughter because I want her to understand it’s okay to be frustrated with me, but that I am doing what I do for her best interest. And perhaps it will inspire her to start more journaling of her own so she has an avenue to vent out frustrations about life, flesh out personal thoughts, or just rant on how annoying I am as a mother.

Floating down memory lane today made me laugh a little, tear up a bit for lives that are now over, but most of all actually feel very proud of the person I have become. The person God has made me into, and the character I have worked so hard to preserve and grow over the years. Here’s hoping you get to find our own version of Memory Lane, and to take that time to do some good self-reflection. And to take the time to relish in the good and the maybe not-so-good about your own life. Remember, healthy living is always about looking inward and finding what you love and what you want to change.

Happy New Year everyone…Cheers!

Sep15

Cracks of Imperfection

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I love to run outside.  There is something therapeutic and detoxifying about running with nature all around you.  With music pumping in my ears and the wind in my face, a cacophony of melodies one can’t find on a treadmill is suddenly formed all around me.

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The other day I was running, and when I do run I let my mind open up freely to explore all kinds of thoughts and feelings. One thing that kept popping up in my brain was all the cracks and crevices I run beside on the streets.  It made me think of how we, as in our inner self, are cracked in just the same way as that pavement.  Pressures of life often break through our concrete wall of self-assurance and positivity.  We are all imperfect people striving to lead a perfect life, and along the way we acquire some pretty big potholes to show for it.  But there is beauty in those imperfections too.  They are learning curves, they are life experiences, they are tears of pain and joy.  But most of all they are the things that make us who we are today, right now.

Self-Reflection is one of the healthiest things we can do for ourselves because it permits us to look at those “cracks” we have made over time, see the good, the bad, and the ugly with them, then try and heal from it.  Whatever you see when you look in the mirror, whatever “cracks” you have staring back at you, know that those are teachable moments in life.  They might be mistakes made or things that happen to us which are out of our control.  But remember that Love and Hope are greater powers than Negativity and Self-Destruction.  Know that something higher out there is holding you up (for me that is Jesus), helping you along the way through this crazy thing we call “Life.”

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(Photo by Becca Lavin on Unsplash)

So the next time you see a large crack in the pavement, recognize what it took to get there.  And relish in the fact that, even though the crack exist, the Foundation is still standing strong and holding up to the environment around it.

 

Until next time,

Cheers

Jun12

Breaking Free

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I hate to generalize, but I will here for a bit. American culture can exude a propensity for living by the “work hard, play hard” mentality. Don’t get me wrong here, I don’t necessarily disagree with it. But I do find myself at times wondering why we spin our wheels so fast each and every day but fail to stop and take notice of the ground we are traveling on? Let me explain my meaning. During my program to become a health coach, there were consistent lectures given by some of the best and brightest in the health and wellness industry tackling this very notion. And to be honest, a lot of what they said made sense. We overcrowd our schedules with things we feel “need” to be accomplished and wonder why at the end of the day we crash and burn in a blaze of cranky attitudes and a failure to connect with those we love.

I often find myself chewing on the idea of “slowing down.” I am not talking about a vacation where you sit for a week and relax. I am talking about each and every day taking time to stop, let my brain rest and recharge, and not constantly go at Mach speed. It’s not an easy change, trust me. You feel lazy and unproductive because your mind is telling you, if you have a moment to spare, get something useful accomplished. But perhaps the things we need to get accomplished could be done more efficiently if we had a better “head space?”

If we can break free from the chains of expectations that bind us daily, we might be able to have healthier lives and more meaningful relationships. Of course, this way of thinking is so far from our norm, the change won’t happen overnight. It might happen in generations, if we are lucky. But I do truly feel we age ourselves, body and soul, because we fail to take in the simple beauties this world has to offer.

So what will your starting point be to create more space in your day for mental and physical rest? Today I chose to sit outside on my back porch and listen to the gentle roll of thunder and rain provided by a summer storm. And in that moment of time, my headspace became clearer and my attitude heightened.

I highly suggest you give it a try sooner than later.

Until next time,

Cheers

Mar28

The Juxtaposition of Jesus’ Love

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Do you have a favorite wall in your house, apartment, room, or whatever?  A wall that displays pictures, paintings, or trinkets of some kind which hold value to you?  I have a favorite wall in my house.  It’s in my kitchen and I catch myself stopping to look at it every once in a while.  Adorning the wall are pictures of me with my parents, my kids, my husband, and his extended family.  It also has a framed collage of wine labels I have drunk with my dad in years past.  And to round it out is one of my favorite bible verses, Psalm 46:10, “Be still and know that I am God.”

I love this wall because I feel it describes me, the things I cherish in this world, and the memories I have to hold onto for the rest of my life.  As we are knee-deep in Holy Week, I have given thought to a lot of messages on the love of Jesus and how it is THE most important thing in this world.  And I completely agree with this-I know it to be true. Sometimes it is so hard for our human minds to even fathom that kind of love, but I am learning to trust in it and to follow it whole-heartedly.  I sometimes feel like my children, who learn religion in school every day.  I am taking faith one day at the time, learning to not overwhelm myself.  Not growing up in a house that attended church regularly, sometimes the concepts I hear coming from scripture boggle my gray matter.  So I do this; I journal and flesh things out on my laptop.

I have heard some preach before how things in this world are just that, things.  They are objects we can’t take with us to Heaven.  Spending too much time focusing on them separates us from Jesus because we open ourselves up to harboring love and adoration for simple objects.  And apparently the same can be said of the relationships we hold close with people.  They do not come before our relationship with Jesus Christ.  So as I look upon my favorite wall and gaze on those things I do hold dear in this world, I find myself wondering how am I supposed to separate those loves?  How do I distinguish between the love I have for Jesus and the love I have for my family?  Are they one in the same?  Am I loving one more than the other?  Do I feel Jesus gets angered when we extol love for those blessings He gives us?

No, I don’t think He gets upset, but I do find myself constantly thinking about how I am supposed to reflect upon this notion.  It becomes a cycle, much like the convection cycle my daughter is learning about in science class right now.

This process stirred last night in my head as I again passed by my favorite wall after cleaning up dinner.  And then I realized I am not being forced to choose here.  I am not being forced to love one over the other.  Instead, I am to know that my blessings bestowed on me are given BY Jesus.  It is my responsibility to acknowledge thanks and praise for the “objects,” it is my duty as a parent to raise my children in a Christ-centered home, and it is by grace that I have so many wonderful memories to smile fondly upon, especially when some of those people are no longer with me on earth.  The love of Jesus endures for me because of what He did this particular week.

As I tend to do, I get encompassed in thought and over-analyze myself.  It’s what made me so good at figuring out the meaning behind speeches, books, etc., in college.  But just when I get too close to the edge, something in me stirs and says to “Be still and know that I am God,” so don’t make a mountain out of a molehill.  You see now why that’s my favorite verse because it keeps me grounded, makes me stop and listen instead of barreling ahead with ideas and notions.

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If you are celebrating Holy Week this month, perhaps you can relate to this constant internal struggle when it comes to growing in faith and growing in knowing ourselves.  If not, this can certainly be applicable to other areas of spirituality.  Because, you see, we all have moments in life that make us stop and ponder, no matter what spiritual place we call home.  If we are really looking through the right lens of life, we should see our kismet, or destiny, a little bit clearer.

Until next time,
Cheers

Mar14

Ruminate This!

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Do you ever have those nights when you wake up around 3 in the morning, your mind starts spinning, and suddenly you are mentally jotting down all the things you have to get accomplished for the next day?  This was me yesterday morning, and there was no going back to sleep.

I woke up and looked at my alarm clock, which read 3:30 AM. “Ugh,” I thought to myself. “Here we go.”  I knew what was going to happen in the next few moments because I had gone to bed thinking about something that was weighing on my heart. So the moment my eyeballs popped open, my mind went straight to that situation and the horses started sprinting for the finish line.  I tossed and turned until about 5 AM, then finally gave up and went downstairs to make coffee.

As I wrote in my journal that morning, I realized there is a repeat pattern here and I feel I am not the only one doing this sort of thing.  Psychology Today has a name for this sort of thing, called “rumination.”  Ruminating is basically when we have something on our mind, a problem or worry, and we continue to think about it until it winds up causing our minds to go into a tailspin of anxiety and depression.  Of course some situations are worse than others, but if you find yourself waking up constantly over a specific worry or concern, you could be setting yourself up for something worse than just a trip to the bathroom or a drink of water.

When I am out do dinner with my lady friends the topic of not sleeping seems to always come up among us.  I have consciously made a note of how many individuals do this sort of thing, and pretty much most of us are getting up at some point in the night.  This also means none of us are giving our bodies the rest they need.  I am not saying we all are suffering from anxiety or depression, but when you think about the typical stress levels we place upon ourselves on a daily basis, ruminating is likely to happen.  I recently listened to an audio lecture about dealing with stress and worry. The constant theme that came up in this series was how our stressed-out society never takes a break from what we place on ourselves, resulting in all sorts of health issues.  One of those issues is, of course, lack of sleep.

Sleep is one of the most important things we can do to keep our bodies and minds healthy, so when you don’t get enough, your entire system can get out of whack. Sounds awesome, right?  So do you find yourself constantly waking up at night stressed or worried about the next day or about a list of problems?  What can you do?

Well, there are several things you can try to help get your mind out of the “rumin-rut.”

One way you can break the cycle of worry and stress is to just try and laugh more during your day.  Stop taking yourself so seriously all the time and get some good guffaws in.  Think about a funny time, or look at pictures of fun memories.  It’s much better to have laughing wrinkles than frowning wrinkles!

Find someone you can talk to in confidence.  Getting things off your chest and out in the open is a great way to work through a problem or situation.  Keeping things bottled up inside will only cause the issue to fester and eat at your mind.

Find ways to relax, even if it’s just for five minutes.  Give your brain a chance to decompress and break up the monotony of your daily grind.  Meditate, go for a short walk, sit down and listen to calming music, take a coffee break and read a book. Whatever it is that gives you peace of mind, do it, and do it for at least five to ten minutes each day.

We are responsible for our own cognitive health, and that means taking the bull by the horns and finding ways to fix the stress we have in life.  Things may not go any slower for you, but you need to take care of your brain and get your rest.  Trust me, your mind and your body will thank you.

Until next time,

Cheers

Mar7

Learning to “Fit Out”

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“The one who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The one who walks alone will usually find himself in places no one has ever been.” —Albert Einstein

We live in a wold that is constantly pushing us to “fit in.” We are told through television, social media, our peers, and the entertainment industry to look a certain way or own specific products. But have you ever thought about the notion of “fitting out?” I know, it seems pretty foreign to our über-narcissistic way of living, but just imagine how free and liberating it could be to simply “fit out.”

When I was going through my certification program to become a health coach, I was introduced to this concept early on by the program’s founder, Joshua Rosenthal. He gave a three minute speech on the importance of fitting out in the world instead of always trying to fit in. He brought to the audience’s attention to expect some backlash of fitting out, but then again, we are interested in weird food and far out concepts. So we get those looks anyway. But health coaches love what we do, so who cares what the world sees through their own rose-colored glasses! As coaches who choose to “fit out” in our industry, our community, and our world, we know we are making a difference one person at a time.

By choosing to fit out instead of fit in with what the world around you is doing, you are allowing yourself to experience personal growth on all levels. It could be with your relationships, spirituality, how you dress, or even how you choose to eat. And the best part is, you are accountable to no one but yourself. You are setting the tone of how you want to live your life and the good things you want to spread to others around you. No longer are you tied down to cookie-cutter concepts and expectations. You become the person you were destined to be, and others will stop and take notice of the change. They will see how you are able to handle situations, or see a new-found confidence in you that was not there before. And who knows, you could inspire them to start their own journey of “fitting out” in this world.

In 2017 I experienced a fitting out theme because not only did I grow spiritually in my relationship with Jesus, but I also learned more about my core values and how I wanted to live my life moving forward. It brought about a level of confidence I didn’t even know existed inside my soul. I don’t know if my own experience with fitting out was noticed by others, and really, I don’t put too much thought in that notion. What I also loved about learning to fit out was how my effort level dropped tremendously. I didn’t feel the need to keep up or stay on top of everything. I was able to let things go and walk away, or I could take disappointment in life, learn from that experience, and find a way to rise above it.

We all know that each day will bring new challenges for us. It will bring in new heartaches, disappointments, realizations, and elations. But just imagine how much stronger you could be in dealing with all those things when you are in the season of “fitting out.” So what risks are you willing to take to live the life you want? What ways can you start the process of learning to fit out in your own life and discover what wonderful things can unfold within your heart? That is my challenge for you this week, so start digging and start making those positive changes in your life.

Until next time,

Cheers

Feb15

Discovering a New and Healthy You

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Do you ever think about the day after a holiday?  Like after Christmas or July 4th, and the stores have all the decorations reduced down.  It takes the wind out of my sail a bit when I see those lonely decorations, unused and unwanted on their shelf.  The day after Valentine’s Day is like that for me, not because all the pink and red heart decorations are left un-purchased.  No, for me February 15 marks the anniversary of my dad’s death.  But this year is a little different for me.  I am turning a day that is usually filled with sadness into something positive.  Today, I am officially putting myself out there in the world as a certified health coach through the Institute for Integrative Nutrition.  And with that announcement comes my personal website that offers information on what I do and the various ways I can help people discover the healthiest, happiest version of themselves.

My journey to living a healthy lifestyle did not always start on an easy track. I have posted about my experience with battling an eating disorder in college, so I won’t go into excessive detail here. If you want to get that whole story, check out my post “The Shadow of Control.” It will be filed under February of 2017 on this blog, http://www.myglasstoshare.com. This piece basically lines out how I ended up where I am today in regards to healthy eating habits and beneficial lifestyle routines.

My passion for good nutrition and overall wellness practices started when I was in my twenties, continuing on and growing stronger as I entered my thirties. Now as I approach my forties, I feel so blessed and excited to have the knowledge I do under my belt so I can help others around me get on track with their own lives.

Health and nutrition, well, those can be tricky subjects. There is so much information out there about what the “correct” way to live should be, or who has the best diet to loose weight or detoxify your liver. But what I learned, and absolutely loved, about the certification program through the Institute for Integrative Nutrition was their belief that everyone is a bio-individual. What is considered one individual’s perfect diet plan may be completely toxic for another. Bio-individuality is the key when it comes to finding the perfect food plan to follow for your body.

Another important aspect to having a healthy lifestyle is finding balance in areas outside the kitchen. Relationships matter and have a huge impact on your overall well-being. A career that is stressful, or a lack of physical activity are other areas important to keep balanced when trying to be healthy and whole. My training program calls these things “Primary Foods.” We get so hung up on thinking diet is the way to a balanced life, we tend to forget the other things going on that can affect the “what” we eat and the “why” we eat.

It has taken myself a few years to figure out my own balance with my life, as well as with my diet regiment. And I feel my experiences, my knowledge, and my ability to just simply sit back and listen helps me put power back into YOUR hands. You will be the designer of this new pathway to balance and health. I will simply provide you the much needed support and tools to get you there. So stop trying the latest fad diet, or running yourself mentally into the ground with obligations and commitments. Let’s do this together because being healthy doesn’t have to be hard!

For more information and to contact me for a free consultation, visit http://www.lifestylelistener.com.

Feb13

Seasons of Change

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I recently listened to someone talk on how life is very much like the seasons we experience during the year.  They change, and with those changes come good moments and hard moments.  As I sat there listening to this person speaking, I couldn’t help but think about the seasons of my own life and what I learned from each change.  I am about to honor a very tough season of my life, the season where I lost my father six years ago.  February 15 will never be the same for me because my life was altered so drastically.  I can’t honestly say I learned very much during the first few years of that “season.”  I was grieving for the loss of someone I loved dearly and relied heavily on for advice and guidance.  But now that season has passed, the pain has dimmed a bit, and now I can survive the day and smile when I think of all the awesome memories my father and I shared together.

I also thought about the season of entering a new decade.  As I approach 40, I get a little nostalgic about my thirties.  It has been an amazing decade, full of highs and lows that make up the river of life.  But I can honestly say, as I come upon the crest of  a new season, I lived life well in my thirties and I hope to continue to do the same during my forties.  I know the road will have potholes, but there will also be periods of smooth sailing.  It’s life, and not every season is going to be full of promises.

As I sat in my seat and continued to reminisce on days gone by, I felt challenged by my faith to ask myself how God has worked through me and in me during these various seasons.  Was there anything I learned to help others through their own seasons?  Did I find out a little more about myself?  Do I fully comprehend who I continue to evolve into as time marches on?  I may be none-the-wiser based on the triumphs and tribulations which have made up my life, but I do know my own seasons have molded me into the wife, the mother, the daughter, and the friend I am today.

I think we all need to stop and surmise about our life, how we are living it, and what we can do to change things we see wrong.  Let’s celebrate with others when they have successful seasons or shore up those whose seasons leave them crumpled on the floor.  It’s amazing what you can discover about yourself when you engage in a little self-reflection.  Sometimes the biggest epiphanies can happen when you stop and take in the season.

I remember what my father used to tell me growing up; he would say to me, “Sweetpea, life is full of choices.  So make sure before you make a choice you think about how you will feel when you look at yourself in the mirror.  If you can look your own self in the eye and be okay with what you see, then you must be doing something right.”  So, that is how I live each day, keeping myself in check with who I want to see staring back at me as I maneuver through life’s seasons.  What season are you experiencing right now and what are you learning from it?

Until next time,

Cheers

Nov29

Worth the Risk?

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“I think there should be a God-honoring, obedient risk in our lives every single day…I’m saying that Jesus lives on the other side of our comfort.  And that when we get comfortable for too long, we start to miss our need for God.”  –Jennie Allen

I always find it interesting how I choose my next topic to write upon.  Sometimes there is a pressing notion on my mind, and other times it just slaps me across the face and I can’t get the thought out of my head until I have it down on paper.  That is what happened today as I read from Jennie Allen’s book “Nothing to Prove.”  This particular chapter talked about Jesus’ risk for us, and how we tend to avoid risk in life.  We like the comfortable spot in the chair, or in our church pew, just so long as not too much gets shaken up.  I started to contemplate all the “risks” I have found myself taking lately in life.  Things I would probably have never had the courage or tact to do even five years ago.  And I could see the point Jennie was trying to make.  We, as human beings, have a tendency to make our decisions based on fears (or the fear of risk) instead of relying on our faith to guide us.

Faith can have different meanings for various spiritualities, but for me, it means I am a follower of Jesus and I strive to live my life out in my faith through Him.  Jesus risked so much to give me life, and it makes my own fears seem obsolete.  So as I kept reading Allen’s book, I was thinking about my own battles with fear, how have I worked to overcome those fears, and what am I still lacking when I am supposed to obediently live the “what would Jesus do” lifestyle.  It also had me thinking about risk.

As a child, I would not have considered myself a risk-taker.  For those of you who knew me then, and even read this blog, you would probably agree.  I was always a rule-follower and didn’t stray far from the safe path in life.  I didn’t take huge risks when it came to school, relationships, or physical activities.  I chose not to “put myself out there,” whether it be fear of failure or rejection.  I came out of adolescence with only a few bruises, but what opportunities did I miss because I failed to take a risk? Because my fear of failing overruled my desire to see what the grass looked like on the other side of the fence?

Moving away to school was the first big “risk” I took, and it began a slow, yet steady tick of finding myself in life.  It has taken years, and a lot of life experiences, but I am letting that fear of risk slowly go.  Rome was not built in a day, so this does take time.  Yet, it is so liberating when you can finally be comfortable in your own skin and own your identity.  The space I take up in this world, I worked hard to own and this is just the beginning.  I have built some pretty amazing relationships in life, am putting myself out there more to become involved in big ideas, and realizing that fear and risk are not necessarily bad things.  Just so long as I can keep my faith in perspective and Jesus in my heart.  I am not expecting to move mountains or set the world on fire with my new-found, risk-taking attitude.  But what I hope to achieve is a more solid foundation to stand on as I get older and live my life.  To show my children that taking a God-filled risk can result in some awesome discoveries, no matter how scary the idea.

“Every time we risk, we place our lives in the hands of our God and test His enoughness.  It is for freedom and joy that we stand out past the limits and confines of our comfort.”  –Jennie Allen

Risk-taking means the chance of bumps and bruises.  It’s like me cringing when I see my kids race on their bikes or try to ski behind a boat.  I know there lies the chance for broken bones or bruised egos, but the flip side is the joy and elation they feel whenever they succeed.  The knowing and trusting that God has them in His arms and protects them more than I ever could as a mother.  It’s the million dollar question shored up by eternal salvation, grace, and love.  I just have to remember to let the fear go, to let the risk happen, and to trust more.  That doesn’t mean I’m going to let my kids run in traffic, or that I am going to hit the blackjack tables in Vegas.  Instead, I know I am not always going to be there to offer protection and help to my children.  And I know that Jesus watches over them as they take their own risks through life, just as I know He watches over me as I am taking more of mine.  It’s not an easy thing to do, to let go and let God.  But then again, who said life was going to be easy?

So I ask you to think about your own risk-taking, fear-loathing attitude in life, and maybe kick it up a notch or two.  See what you can do to put yourself out there more.  Will you build a new relationship, or perhaps mend an old and damaged one.  Will you jump towards a new career, or maybe move thousands of miles away.  It’s hard to say how the cards will play when you take a risk or two, but I pray you find it and settle in for the ride.

Until next time,

Cheers

 

 

 

 

 

Mar10

Siri, You Don’t Get Me

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I have to post this small little blurb today because I feel like all you iPhone users out there can relate to what I have to say about good ol’ Siri.  Now, I don’t know if you feel as I do when it comes to hands-free driving, but I like the idea of letting my voice do the work while my eyes stay focused on the road and my hands do their job of driving the car.  So when Apple developed Siri a few years ago, I thought it was going to be the next best thing to sliced bread.  Unfortunately, my Siri experience has been terrible.

Can I just take a moment to poke fun at myself?  How do you know your relationship with Siri is on the outs?  It is probably pretty clear she is just not that into you when you hit the magical button to ask a question and she repeatedly tells you “I’m sorry Samantha, I don’t understand that.” Ever had that happen?  Yeah, I thought so.

As I was driving this morning, dropping off my children at their various schools, I was needing to know when our local Barnes and Noble would open.  “Ah,” I thought to myself, “I will ask Siri.  She knows everything, right?”  Push the button and speak into the virtual microphone.  “Siri, can you tell me when the Barnes and Noble in Cape Girardeau will open today?”  Siri replies, “Samantha, I don’t understand what Noble is.”  Wait, what?  Okay, deep breath, and let me turn down my music to eliminate all background noise.  Try again. “Siri, can you please (because maybe if I am overly polite, she will give me my answer) tell me when BARNES AND NOBLE IN CAPE GIRARDEAU WILL OPEN TODAY?”  Here she goes, it’s going to happen this time!  “Samantha, here is the location for Cape Girardeau.  Can I help with anything else?”  Sure, I can tell you what direction I would like you to go…any guesses oh wise, fake language, computer voice?

Now, you have to get a visual here, because I am driving in traffic, yelling to wherever my microphone is in the car, trying to focus on the road.  If you passed me this morning, now you understand why I looked like a giraffe driving a vehicle, craning my neck towards the ceiling in search of the mysterious Bluetooth microphone.  Okay, let’s try this again.  The car is quiet and I hit the magic button.  “Siri, pretty please tell me when Barnes and Noble will open in Cape Girardeau.”  Awkward silence as I watch the colorful neon light pulse on my phone’s screen.  “Samantha,  here are the searches I found for Hungarian paprika.”  ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!!! It takes sheer strength to NOT throw my phone across the vehicle and suddenly I find myself pushing the button to tell Siri what a big loser she was, how she couldn’t understand me, and I thought she was a complete idiot! There, now see how you do, SIRI! Microphone drop, BOOM, I told her. Her response?  “I’m sorry you feel that way, Samantha.”  Whatever.

Needless to say, I had to wait until I reached a red light to search Safari for opening times of Barnes and Noble, which had absolutely zero to do with Hungarian paprika.  Still trying to figure that one out, Siri.  So, for those of you out there using iPhones and having amazing “Phomances” with Siri, good for you.  For the rest of the Siri rejects out there, I feel your pain.  And if you use another brand of phone, you may have no clue what this entire situation feels like, but then again, my iPhone has not exploded on me yet.

I was just a girl, driving a car, waiting for a simple answer.  All I got was Hungarian paprika.

Until next time,

Cheers!